Page 46 of Grace

Chase was in love with me.

It was a pity that, deep down, I hated him.

March 2006

When I woke up from the cold dream that had once been reality, I got up and ran out of the building.

When I got outside, I leaned against a thick limestone column and had a panic attack. Cyrus stormed out after me. It was strange to see him in a suit. The wind softly kissed his hair, which hung loose, and blew it into his face, while he was bombarding me with questions. I couldn’t answer any of them.

I was panting, gasping for air, my body filled with heat. My heart was beating frantically, the air grew thick, and space contracted around me. My vision blurred, and forms melted into one another and swam through my mind in waves.

“Just calm me down somehow,” I moaned between two gasps. I was afraid I’d black out.

Cyrus stood in front of me, leaned down, and kissed me.

I was so surprised I didn’t kiss him back—but my panic attack subsided instantly. It was a strange situation… But it still felt good that this strong, determined man could kiss so gently. His beard tickled and irritated my skin.

When I was about to sink deeper into the kiss, Cyrus let me go and stepped back. There was suddenly a huge distance between us.

“I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry.” He ran his fingers through his hair. Then he took off his tie and his suit jacket, unfastened the top button of his shirt, and rolled up his sleeves. The weak sunlight made the tattoos on his skin dance melancholically. This more casual look matched his wild, unruly hair and his sharp gaze much better.

“Thanks,” I stammered, like a child.

Cyrus put his hands on his hips and exhaled slowly. He was reachable and unreachable, gorgeous and horrible, cute and unlawful.

May 2006

After my disappearance, Daisy started dating Billy Ray—and living the life I’d wanted for myself.

Her parents were alive, she was going to university, and now she was engaged. They both had a bright future ahead of them—while I had no idea what I had become in those years, or who I wanted to be in this life.

September 2006

I had had enough of living off Jamie’s leftovers.

He was nice to me in his own way: he left me some of his food and paid two thirds of our bills in exchange for me keeping the house clean. We didn’t have to live in that filth. Still, I knew my efforts were not enough to make them treat me as a person.

I accepted Abigail’s job offer because I needed the money—and she made a hefty profit off me. My life was an open secret in Willow Creek, and “customers” just kept coming as if we were handing out free candy.

I was lucky because a lot of people didn’t know how to treat me, so they avoided me. Some whispered behind my back, while others just walked up and hugged me without a word. Their hugs made me freeze, and I couldn’t decide whether their eyes were full of wonder or pity.

June 2007

Summer was Abigail’s favorite season. The myriad of engagement parties, weddings, and classy birthday parties meant we had a huge number of orders. We worked into the night to fulfill our customers’ very unusual requests.

“The new shipment has just arrived.” I took the red roses inside, smiling.

“We hadn’t ordered anything for today,” she mumbled under her breath and looked out from behind her glasses. She weighed the bouquet in front of me with suspicious eyes.

“That’s a special shipment.”

She cut off the long, hard stem of a rose lying in front of her with a pair of garden scissors, then pointed at the trash bin.

“The old lecher should be ashamed of himself,” she grumbled. “I’m sure he bought these in the other shop that just opened to snatch our customers away.”

“Should I throw it out?” I asked, astonished, and placed the flowers on the counter instead of the trash can.

“I don’t need flowers. Especially not from there.”