Page 8 of Only Time Will Tell

“No, and I never will be, but we have no choice.”

Nathan watched us, waiting for us to give him the go-ahead. When I nodded, he drew the sheet back, uncovering the familiar face below. Alex and I gasped, there was no mistaking it, this was my father. He looked so tired, much older than his short fifty-two years of life his body should have shown. Long gone was the man who’d play with me for countless hours, my mother watching on. The love my parents shared was fierce and it broke my father when she was gone.

I buried my face in Alex’s chest, his shirt muffled the uncontrollable sobs. He let Nathan know that was indeed my father. Words weren’t coming, I had no idea what to say, let alone think. He was far too young to have passed away and as far as I knew, was in good health, though the man I saw today hadn’t been for some time.

The receptionist returned and led us back to the lobby and handed me a box of tissues. Alex ushered me to sit in one of the lobby chairs while he gathered the paperwork from the receptionist. I went through the motions, adding my signature where it called for it but read none of the papers. I could’ve been signing the house away and right now I couldn’t care less. My father was dead, the image of his lifeless body on that table will forever haunt me.

She handed the bag of my father’s belongings and a large manilla envelope to Alex and extended her condolences.

As soon as we got to the truck, the weight of it all hit me. My legs gave out and before my body hit the pavement, Alex caught me. He sat me in the passenger seat, secured the seat belt and kissed my forehead.

“You okay?” He asked. I saw the worry in his eyes and hated I’d put it there.

“No, but I will be,” I said, with far more certainty than I felt.

With a nod, he closed the door and went around to get in. He held my hand as we drove, my sobs the only sound in the cab. Alex didn’t turn on the radio to drown me out, nor did he complain. He offered silent comfort, exactly what the moment called for.

Pulling into the garage, Alex asked, “Can you walk, or would you like for me to carry you?” Not a, tell me you can walk so I don’t have to carry you. Not my Alex, he’d do whatever it took to get me safely inside without complaint.

“I’m good, thanks.” But as soon as we were inside, I practically melted into the couch cushions with no desire to move.

“Do you want to go through the packet they sent home with us?” Alex asked, taking a seat beside me.

“I guess we better, it looks like I have a funeral to plan.” I sat up on the couch and reached for the packet, along with the bag of my father’s personal belongings, that Alex had placed on the coffee table beside us.

“We have a funeral to plan, my love. You aren’t in this alone,” he reminded me and while I knew that he was right, knowing Dad was my last remaining blood relative it left me with an empty feeling.

I leaned into his shoulder, and we went through the packet together. Inside were the police report, which stated there was no foul play, and the death certificate listed the cause of death as heart failure. It also said that his body was discovered by a pair of morning joggers who frequent the park. Included was a list of mortuaries and a checklist of tasks including obtaining additional copies of the death certificate. Lastly, there was a sheet of grief counselors they recommended. This was far too surreal, like reliving a nightmare. It hadn’t been that long since we’d buried my grandmother.

“I don’t know if I’m strong enough for this.” It took a lot to admit that. When it came to Alex and my relationship, being in charge came naturally. But this. This was too damn much, and I’d really reached my limit.

“I’ll handle making the arrangements.” He grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch and covered me, then tilted my head up and kissed me. “I love you, Charlie. I’ll always be here for you.”

“I know. You’ve been the one constant in my life, always there for me. I love you, more than you’ll ever know.” As soon as the words were out, the waterworks hit which is how I remained until I finally dozed off.

A couple hours later, I woke when Alex lifted my head and laid it on his lap, running his fingers through my hair. “I called my parents and let them know what happened. They said to give you a big hug and remind you that they are there for you however you need them to be.”

Alex’s family had always treated me like blood. “How did I get so lucky to find you and your family?”

He chuckled, “I don’t know if it’s luck, but you’re stuck with us now.” Felt good to smile. “I also took the week off, set up the services at the same place as your Grandmother’s was, and had your father’s body transported there. I hate to ask this question, Charlie, but do you know if he wanted to be cremated?”

“I don’t believe so. I think he planned to be buried next to my mother. He had his name and birthdate put on the headstone already.” Even though my mother had been gone for most of my life, I still felt the loss whenever she came to mind. The memories I had of her were few and far between, but I did cherish every one of them.

“Okay, I’ll call them back and let them know the burial will take place at Abbey View Memorial Park after I call the cemetery and get the plot information.”

“Alex, would you call my boss and let him know what’s going on and that I’ll be taking a leave of absence?”

“Already done, and he passed along his condolences.”

The next few days went by in a haze and before I knew it, the day of my father’s funeral had arrived. He didn’t have any friends that I knew of and was an only child, so attendance was low. Alex’s family were there, which meant more to me than they’d ever know. As everyone said their goodbyes, I sat beside my father’s grave and watched as they lowered the casket. Once it was in place, I grabbed a handful of dirt and tossed it onto the casket. “Say hi to mom for me. I love you both.” Hopefully they were together now in the afterlife, whatever that may be.

“Charlie, who’s that man standing by the cars?” Alex asked and I glanced up.

“Not sure, let’s go see.” As we neared he walked toward us.

“Excuse me, I’m sorry to interrupt, but are you Charles DuBois?” he asked. Before I could respond, he continued. “I’m Abel Gunderson, your father’s attorney.” He held his hand out to me.

“Please, call me Charlie. This is my partner, Alex.” They shook hands after we did. “I didn’t know my father had need for an attorney. How can we help you, Mr. Gunderson?”