Page 12 of The Gaybor War

The woman with the messy bun and mustard stain on her shirt swats her kids away from my flowerbed and practically squeals. "Oh my God, I’d read that."

Benji turns back to his audience, basking again, sunlight catching the ridiculous caramel highlights in his brown hair, and I turn to leave before this becomes the cover story of the next HOA newsletter.

Benji calls after me, "Don’t worry, neighbor! Some people take time to warm up to my… presence!"

I don’t look back. I refuse to give him the satisfaction.

He’s loud. He’s too charming for his own good. And he’s absolutely going to ruin this street for me.

Chapter 5

Carter stomps back to his house, aggravated and growly, and I watch him go, totally unfazed.

Shania fans herself dramatically. "Well. He’s… intense."

Malia laughs. "Doesn’t look like he’s buying your charm, Benj."

I snort, flipping my shades down to hide the way my face is still a little too warm.

"Please. That’s just how gays flirt. He loves me."

Candace’s lips twitch. "He looked like he wanted to strangle you."

"Same thing," I say breezily. "Some of us just express affection through homicidal vibes."

They all laugh, but it’s thin. They’re already looking across the street again, watching Carter carry boxes inside, muscles flexing under his boring gray T-shirt.

Whatever. He’s a boxer-briefs guy. I’d bet my entire x-rated manga collection there isn't a jockstrap in his entire underwear drawer. I glance down at the smooth, tanned expanse of my chest, framed perfectly by the purple shirt, and grin like a man who absolutely didn’t just get roasted in front of half the HOA.

I wave goodbye to the girls and head inside, hips swinging because if I’m going down in flames, I’m at least doing it with rhythm.

The door shuts behind me, and the smile slips right off my face.

"Oh my God," I mutter to the empty house, dragging a hand down my face. "He thinks I’m a clown."

Technically, he’s not wrong.

But I’m a clown with Adobe Creative Suite and a loyal following of romance authors who panic-email me things like, ‘Can you make him look more unhinged but still hot?’

Whatever, Carter doesn’t get it. To him, success is a Microsoft certification and boring shoes.

My phone buzzes with the Morningwood Minute.

Kiki: Benj tell the truth. He’s hot, right??

Benji: He's mid. Like gas station coffee.

Shania: Lies. We saw you check out his arms.

Benji: I was assessing symmetry.

Malia: Sure you were

Candace: I give it a week before y’all make out at the pool.

What’s wrong with these chicks? Did they forget they'd added Carter to the thread? I’m not discussing my crushing defeat as he reads it with glee while snacking on popcorn!

Donna H: Hate is just love with more cardio