Page 50 of Three Months Yesterday

I love my family and what I’ve built at the inn, but I haven’t been able to do everything I’ve wanted. If I’d taken a chance after college and went somewhere else, would I have been able to build everything I wanted? Something that was entirely mine?

I’ve always had the ability to leave but I never did, and if I keep going down this path I’ll be stuck in this rut doing the same thing day after day, and is that what I really want for my future?

But then again, I’ve only known the man for two weeks. How crazy is it to be thinking about these things? To be thinking about a long term future with a man I barely know—one who won’t be here come spring.

My thoughts drift to the conversation we had while watching Charade. I know it’s a movie, but still. Is it possible to fall in love with someone without knowing all the important things?

Not that I’m even close to being in love with the man, but I think it’s fair to say there’s something more than simple attraction and lust between us. And I definitely can’t deny that I feel safe with him. There’s a comfort I have with Beckett that normally takes much longer for me to build, and that has to mean something.

Stepping into the barn, I take a deep breath, letting myself forget about Beckett and everything that entails for a little bit while I focus on the new additions to the family.

Meadow and Oakley poke their heads through the yokes of their stalls, and I don’t try to stop the smile at the sight. I haven’t spent nearly as much time with them over the last week as I would’ve liked, but it’s been enough that we’ve built a routine.

“Hey, girl.” I stop to the right of Meadow’s stall and laugh as she nudges her nose at my sweater, knowing there’s a cut apple in the pocket. “You know me too well.”

Oakley nickers and tosses his head next to us, his ears pricked forward in excitement, and I can’t help wondering what has him this way. He’s been comfortable with me every time I’ve come into the barn, but I’ve never gotten this kind of reaction from him, not even with the other half of the apple.

“Hey, buddy.” A deep voice sounds behind me, and my heart rate spikes for multiple reasons. “Sorry, Madison.” Beckett chuckles, brushing a hand over the small of my back as he moves past me on his way to Oakley’s stall. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” There’s a smile in his voice as he strokes Oakley’s muzzle, whispering something to him when he pushes farther into Beckett’s space.

“Not your fault,” I whisper, peaking at him around Meadow’s head.

I’ve spent an unhealthy amount of time thinking about Beckett in inappropriate ways, even before he kissed me. And since he kissed me those fantasies have become far more frequent—way more than I’ve ever imagined before. But the way my thighs clench at the sight of him with one of my horses has me seriously concerned.

It’s such a small thing and yet it’s incredibly sexy to see such a masculine man be so sweet and gentle with an animal. It’s not surprising I find the image before me so appealing, but my body’s visceral reaction to it makes absolutely no sense—it’s never happened to me before.

“Is everything okay?” Beckett’s voice startles me, and I jerk my attention back to Meadow.

“Of course,” I blurt. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

There’s no way he can tell I’ve been getting off to the thought of him every night while in the shower, right?

Beckett’s attention shifts and his brows pinch when he looks at me. He doesn’t answer right away, and I wonder if the words he speaks are the ones he really wanted to. “You’ve been working some really late hours lately. I just wasn’t expecting to see you here when I got back from town.”

“Oh.” I keep my attention on Meadow, scratching at her forehead the way I know she likes. I’m afraid if I look at him he’ll somehow be able to read my thoughts and I’m not ready for that. “I’m taking the rest of the day off. Holly, the new housekeeper, didn’t work today so my focus wasn’t split like it has been all week.”

“How’s it going with Holly? Any more issues?”

It’s such a benign question, and yet I hate everything about it. His curiosity about my day isn’t new, but it doesn’t feel right after the way we left things earlier this week.

“Beckett.” My eyes meet his, and I lose all train of thought.

What is wrong with me?

Beckett takes a step toward me, and I have to fight to stay still, but I can’t fathom why. He’s never done anything to make me feel uncomfortable or unsafe, and I’ve missed him—craved his presence and calming nature.

“Madison,” he whispers, framing my face in his hands, forcing me to keep our gazes locked. “We’re okay.”

I don’t know how he does it, but those simple words are exactly what I need to hear. All the tension from the past week seeps from my body and I melt into him, my forehead falls to his chest and my hands grip the sweater at his sides.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” The words are muffled, but the rumble of his chest tells me he heard them just fine.

His arms snake around me, pulling me close and maybe I should feel nervous at the way he engulfs me, but I don’t. I swear I almost purr at his touch.

“Nothing’s wrong with you.” Beckett’s lips brush the top of my head, and I sink farther into him, turning my head so I can speak more clearly but keeping my body tucked close.

“I don’t know if I believe you.”

Silence descends around us, the only sounds coming from Meadow and Oakley moving around their stalls.