Page 76 of Ruined

I swallow hard. Beyond the infidelity, this is what hurt me the most. “Because when I said I couldn’t stay in the relationship, your mom told me that if I left, I wasn’t allowed to see you or your brother anymore.”

“It wasn’t—” Kim starts, but I shake my head.

“Just let me finish.”

“Why didn’t you fight?” Oliver asks, lower lip trembling.

“She was your mom, but I wasn’t your dad as far as the law was concerned. I thought taking it to court would make your lives even worse. I thought… if I stayed away, eventually you’d stop missing me. Every choice felt like it would hurt you, so I picked the one I thought would hurt the least.”

Oliver’s eyes fill with tears as he looks at Kim. “Mom?” His eyes are pleading, as if he’s asking her to refute everything I said and tell him it’s a lie. Kim stays silent, though, and when it’s clear she won’t deny anything, Oliver’s tears turn to anger, his fists clenching by his sides. “How could you do this? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“He was gone,” Kim mumbles. “It didn’t matter anymore.”

“Of course it mattered!” Oliver yells. “You saw me cry myself to sleep for months. You saw me fail classes. And all this time, I thought he wanted nothing to do with our family, including me. How could you let me think that?” His voice is shaking, his whole body vibrating with hurt.

“Oliver…” She shakes her head. “It’s complicated. I was trying to do the right thing for our family.”

“But he was part of our family! And you ruined everything.” His voice breaks, and the moment he bursts into tears, I haul him into my arms. He shakes as he cries, his muffled sobs wetting my shirt.

“It’s okay,” I murmur gently. “It’s okay, Ollie.”

Kim watches us, studying the way I’m stroking his hair and how his arms clutch desperately around my waist.

“Does Mason know?” she asks after a while, holding her arm with her opposite hand as if to steady herself. The rage in her eyes has faded, replaced by a quiet somberness—not just guilt, but the exhaustion of it all, worn down by the secret she’s kept for years. Now that it’s all out in the open, maybe we can all find peace in the truth.

Gently, I disentangle myself from the hug. “About me and Oliver? Yes. About you and me? No.”

“Then I’ll tell him,” she says quietly.

I nod, feeling a whisper of the wordless respect we used to have for each other once upon a time. She was the most beautiful, generous, and kind woman I’d ever met, and I don’t know what happened along the way, but I know we were happy once. And now, even though she doesn’t say it, I know she’s going to let Oliver and me be happy in our own way.

She doesn’t need to approve of us, but she can accept that things are the way they are, and that he needs me just as much as he wants me, and that I’ll take care of him. That’s all.

As Oliver looks up at me with tear-stained eyes, all the guilt I’ve harbored for so long melts away, and the world melts with it, until there’s only him, my sweet Ollie, and me, the man who loves him with all my heart.

26. ALWAYS YOURS

Leaving my mother behind, Logan and I wander through the house that used to be our home. I take his hand and lead him up to my old room. The furniture is still there, but not my things. No PC, no posters on the walls, no action figures on the shelf.

I used to have a picture of a vintage car on my wall—one of the only belongings Logan left behind. Mom must’ve taken it down. I noticed she removed the family picture above the TV, too. The picture of me, Mason, Mom, and Logan. After Logan left us and she erased every trace of him from our home, I begged her to let it stay. Now that I don’t live here anymore, I guess she thought I wouldn’t mind.

In the bed in the corner, Logan used to send me to sleep with a kiss to my forehead. At the desk by the window, he used to help me with homework. With those pencil marks on the wall, he used to track my height. The marks start at seven and stop at thirteen.

As we walk downstairs and open the door to the garage, the familiar smell of motor oil and concrete hits me. With Logan by my side, a myriad of memories flashes through my mind, and in their wake, a bittersweet nostalgia tightens my chest.

Here, he used to tinker endlessly with his car while I sat on a chair in the corner and played my Nintendo until late, even on school nights. I refused to leave his side. Eventually, he lifted me into his arms and carried me, protesting, to my room. It was only when he put me to bed and gave me a kiss on the forehead that I gave up and found rest.

This is the place where we spent so much time together, but it’s also the place where he left me behind. My memories of that day are blurrier now, and I don’t hear myself screaming quite as loudly.

We move beyond the garage and into the backyard, where the patio looks out over a sizable pool. It’s all covered with tarp now, and the outdoor lights illuminate the foundation of what I suppose will become the pool house. So Mom wasn’t lying when she said Fabio was building her one. Things are changing so fast.

“Lane and I used to swim here in the summer,” I mumble. “Mason, too.”

This place doesn’t feel like home anymore. It hasn’t for months. I have another home now. Two homes, in fact. With Nico and Luca, and with my daddy.

Logan gives my hand a little squeeze. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” My voice lowers, and I tap my foot against the wooden patio, trying to feel okay and not just say that I am.