Page 23 of Ruined

It’s not like it’s intentional. I’d prefer if I wasn’t so oversensitive to his touch, but there’s something about him that speaks to me on a primal level, and the fact that he wants nothing to do with me sexually doesn’t seem to compute in my brain. My dick sure doesn’t care that he’s just trying to be a father figure, not a daddy.

I don’t know what to do. I know what I want to do, but it carries too many risks.

My mind keeps spinning as I bike home to the twins’ apartment. When I arrive, Nico’s lounging on the couch like usual. Luca sits beside him, typing on his phone.

“Hi, Blondie,” Nico says, fidgeting with something in his hand. He nudges two metal pieces back and forth, and they make a clicking sound whenever they slide into place. An infinity slider, I think it’s called. “What’s up with you? Did you get laid or something?”

I huff out a breath. “What? No.” I get a can of soda out of the fridge and sit on the beanbag next to the sofa. I need to cool down, but I’m not sure if a chat with the twins is the right way to go about it. Nico is about as annoying as Mason. He grins at me, waggling his brows.

“You’re looking like you did, all blushy and smiley. Either that, or you’re in love.”

“I’m not.” I’m not as bad of a liar as Lane, but I’m pretty close, and the tone of my voice doesn’t come out very convincing.

Nico sits up straight, looking at me intently. “Did you have any luck on that app?”

“No,” I mutter. It’s not exactly a lie, but it’s not the truth either.

Luca looks up from his phone. “Men suck, anyway. He’s better off single.”

“Not all men are like your sleazy clients,” Nico says.

“Do you really sleep with them for money?” I ask Luca.

He shrugs. “Sometimes. Mostly, I just do stuff on camera. It depends.”

“Doesn’t that make it… less fun? Sex, I mean. Sex is supposed to be between people who like each other.” Unfortunately for me, I like someone who’ll never like me back. Even if he did, I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t allow himself to act on it.

Luca shrugs again. He seems disinterested in the conversation in general. “Yeah, but it’s good money.”

I raise a brow. “Do you enjoy it in any way?”

“He never comes,” Nico reveals, and Luca rolls his eyes.

“I love telling you my deepest, darkest secrets, brother.”

Nico smirks. “That’s not your deepest, darkest secret.”

I raise a curious brow, but I doubt they’d tell me anything even if I asked.

“It’s work, okay?” Luca mutters, side-eyeing Nico. “And it pays well. I’m keeping us both afloat, so you should shut up.”

Nico groans and sprawls his long limbs over the sofa. “I’m trying to find something, but the job market’s shit right now.”

“Or maybe your résumé is.”

Nico throws a pillow at his twin, and Luca takes it and throws it right back. If I don’t interrupt them, I bet this conversation will devolve into a pillow fight.

“Luca,” I say, following an impulse. “How do you know if a guy likes you?”

Luca raises a brow at me. “Why?”

“Um.” My cheeks heat up. This was a bad idea. “No reason.”

“Well, I’m not the right person to ask. When guys like me, they message me and tell me how badly they want me to choke on their dicks.”

Nico snorts. “Not helpful. When a guy likes me, he touches me a lot. Like puts a hand on my shoulder, on my waist, and stuff like that. Why? Have you met someone?”

I shake my head. “Just checking.”