Page 10 of Bruised

I don’t know how many times I’ve jerked off to that video. Might be in the hundreds at this point.

Each time after I come, I wonder what the fuck is wrong with me, but that hollow longing remains, and my mind keeps spinning on the idea of what it would be like to be treated like that boy in the video. Controlled. Dominated. Bruised and ruined.

Maybe one day, I’ll explore that part of me, but I can’t think of anyone more inappropriate for the purpose than my best friend’s older brother. That’s exactly why it’s so intriguing, though: it’s dangerous. The last thing I want is to jeopardize my friendship with Oliver. Even though he’s going away in a couple of months, we’ll still keep in touch and game online, and we’ll see each other on holidays, even if it won’t be like before. Oliver will be busy with everything in college, and I’ll be working full-time at my dad’s construction company.

The adult world is looming over me, and I’m not sure I’m ready.

It feels like my life is ending before it’s even begun.

Maybe that’s why I’m so drawn to the idea of being degraded like that boy in the video. Maybe that’s why my mind is so fucked up and leading me into temptation with the one person I shouldn’t mess with.

I can’t risk my friendship with Oliver just because I’m a little horny. Okay, a lot horny. I can find someone else—someone who’s not going to live in close proximity during the whole summer. How awkward would it be to start sleeping with someone and then be forced to see them in the kitchen the day after? Pretty fucking awkward… Pretty fun, too.

No.

I shake my head, trying to shake the thoughts out of my mind.

“What should I do?” I ask, voice thin. I can’t let Oliver know what just ran through my mind. I can’t let him know what I want—what I crave more than the sour candy in the cabinet downstairs. And I really love candy.

“About?” Oliver asks.

“About him. Mason.”

“I told you—just ignore him. If you talk back, or if you tell him you’re not interested, that’s just going to make him chase you more.”

“Sounds kind of creepy.”

Oliver sends me a glance, one eyebrow raised. “That’s because he is. Not only that—he’s a fucking criminal. A violent, unhinged asshole.”

“Violent? What did he do?”

Oliver’s gaze darkens. “It’s not my place to say.”

“He didn’t kill anyone, did he?”

“No.”

I exhale in relief, but Oliver doesn’t seem relieved at all.

“Promise me, Lane. Promise me you’ll stay away from him.”

I frown, trying to shake off the uncomfortable feeling taking root inside me. It’s not like I’ve planned for anything to happen between me and Mason, but…

“Pinky promise?” Oliver holds out his hand, pinky outstretched.

I smile. “Yeah, pinky promise. Of course. I’m here to see you, remember? Not him.”

Oliver nods, relieved when I link my pinky with his. “Yeah.”

I’m quiet for a while, contemplating the promise I just made to my best friend.

Okay, ignore Mason. Stay away from him. Don’t let him ruin me, whatever that means. I can do that. Can’t be that hard, right?

Just then, a loud bang shakes the walls of the entire house.

Oliver groans and slams a pillow over his head. “I’m gonna fucking kill him!”

I don’t see Mason at all the rest of that day, but it hardly helps my predicament. When bedtime comes—around 4 AM by Oliver’s and my schedule—I’m exhausted from my previous sleepless night, and Oliver’s snoring doesn’t help.