Page 103 of Hexed & Hazy

Laurel has always been the type to chase her dreams, and me…

I want to take care of everything else. To do what the rest can’t.

“Come on.” Juniper stands up and offers her hand, which I finally take, opening my eyes. “We’re going to come up with a plan. Together.”

There are some ways I know Juniper can understand me, and this is one of them. She looks at me with a softness reserved for moments like these before turning and leading us to the kitchen. She says nothing as she makes tea—chamomile—and Laurel and I sit around the table.

I remain silent until she slides the cups in front of us.

“I already know what I have to do,” I say at last. “What I wanted to do all along—cut my client list in half and focus on the family business.”

Juniper watches me with sharp eyes. “And what needs to change for you to do that?”

I smile wryly. She likely knows the answer, and I do, too. I’ve known it all along.

“I need to change my fees,” I say evenly.

“Which means…?”

“Oh my gods,” Laurel whispers. “You’re asking for a raise.”

I roll my eyes. “It’s hardly a raise. I’m freelancing. As I said, I’m changing my fees, which will impact all of my clients.”

Including those I’m related to.

But I sound more confident about it than I feel. In all my years of business, I’ve never upped my fees—not for family and friends. But it needs to be done.

“The answer is yes,” Juniper says, shaking her head. “If I knew you were struggling, I would have made this change much sooner. I’m sorry. I haven’t been paying attention.”

She was distracted, and I can’t blame her for it. I should have said something. This, too, is something I know Juniper understands. It makes the whole thing less embarrassing.

I’ve been charging the family businesses less than the others, and that—that’s where the burnout is coming from. I won’t put it into words, won’t make them feel guilty. It was my decision.

And this is my new decision, too. To better manage my time. To be mindful.

I sip on my still-hot tea. “Then it’s settled.”

Juniper smiles kindly. “I’m proud of you.”

I smile back.

But it all feels so empty. This isn’t enough. There’s something more I’m still missing, and I don’t know when I’ll get it back… or if I’ll ever get over it.

How can I get over him?

Chapter 35

Seth

I have good news. News Rowan would be excited about, would probably cheer about. But I can’t share it with her, no matter how much I want to—or at least, I shouldn’t.

So, for the first time in a long time, I’m not focused on dating—or more bluntly, sex. I’m still thinking about Rowan, and I don’t know how to stop, but I have other things going on now, things beyond caring for my mom, the gym, and my work at the café.

I guess this is what passion feels like. Rowan would probably be proud of that, too.

We haven’t talked in over a week, and so much is already happening. Planning with Donnie. Gossip at the café. She doesn’t even come in for her morning coffee anymore. Is she brewing at home? Is Maple doing it for her? Or is she driving out of town for her caffeine fix?

I guess it’s none of my business. If she wanted me to know, she would tell me.