Page 50 of Say My Name

She’s built a careful wall of plausible deniability. I lean back in my chair, shifting the angle, taking back a little space. “You kissed me back.”

“I’m aware.”

“You pulled me closer.”

“Fine. I participated.”

“Enthusiastically.”

She looks toward the windows, and I catch the brief curve of her mouth before she controls it. There it is. A crack in the professional finish. It’s gone as quickly as it came.

“I’m not discussing my level of enthusiasm with you.”

“You brought up the kiss.”

“To establish that it was an isolated lapse in judgment.”

“Yours or mine?”

“Both.”

“I disagree.”

Her eyes return to me. “Which part?”

“I didn’t lapse.” I keep my voice even. “The whiskey made me less interested in pretending I didn’t want to kiss you. I’d make the same choice sober.”

She studies me, searching for a qualification I have no intention of giving her.

“And what if I wouldn’t make the same choice?” she asks.

“Then I won’t kiss you again.”

Her shoulders loosen slightly.

I close the folder and hold it out. “But I’m not going to lie and tell you I regret it. I think we both felt how much I enjoyed it.”

I know I shouldn’t tease her about it but the blush that creeps up her neck is exactly the response I wanted. She rolls her eyes and reaches out to take the file from me without letting our fingers touch. “I should get back to work.”

“I’ll see you this afternoon.”

She reaches the door, then turns. “One kiss isn’t conclusive.”

I smile. “Whatever helps you concentrate.”

She leaves before I can see whether she smiles back.

Later in the week, walking past Elena’s open office, I learn that her thirtieth birthday remains unfinished business.

“You can’t escape turning thirty with one expensive dinner and hope the rest of us forget,” Maya is saying. “We all own calendars.”

“I’m not trying to escape it.”

“You refused a party.”

“I agreed to drinks.”

“After Olivia and I threatened to come to your apartment with decorations.”