Page 143 of Say My Name

Maya closes my door.

I look up at my assistant and close friend. “Did you need something?”

“Yes.” She comes farther into the room and crosses her arms. “I need you to stop pretending you’re fine.”

“I’m working.”

“You’ve been staring at that spreadsheet for almost ten minutes.”

“You timed me?”

“I became concerned around minute four. The rest was morbid curiosity.”

“The model needs another pass.”

“The model hasn’t done anything to deserve this.”

“Maya.”

Her expression softens. “What happened?”

My throat tightens. I look down at the laptop, but the columns in front of me have blurred.

“Nothing happened.”

“Okay. That’s clearly bullshit.”

“I’m not discussing this at work.”

“Then we can leave.”

“I’m not discussing it anywhere.”

“Did someone hurt you?” she asks.

“No.”

“Did you hurt someone?”

The quiet accuracy of the question is a punch to the gut.

I press my lips together.

Maya exhales and uncrosses her arms. “That explains the face.”

“What face?”

“The one that says you haven’t slept and blame the spreadsheet for failing to distract you.”

“I don’t have a face.” My own voice sounds distant, defensive.

“You have several. I’m familiar with all of them.”

A weak laugh slips out.

She squeezes my shoulder. “You don’t have to tell me. Just don’t convince yourself you’re fine because you can still answer emails.”

“I really am working.”