Page 36 of His Reckless Freshman

But for some reason, I feel lighter than I did before.

With a little sniff, I look at my interviewee and mumble a soft “Thanks, Ben.”

“Anytime you need to talk, I’ll make myself available, okay?”

“Okay,” I squeak, a tentative smile spreading over my face. He’s given me a lot to think about. Now I just need to decide which side of the fence I want to play on.

Do I hold on to my upbringing, stick with the safe, the known… the restrictive?

Or do I let myself explore this world Ben’s saying is so great?

12

BEN

She thanked me like I did her this big service by listening and telling her that sex wasn’t a sin.

Seriously.

What was her upbringing like if she didn’t even think she was allowed to masturbate? And not thinking she can watch Bridgerton? Holy shit. Talk about repressed.

It kind of makes me even madder at the guy she went out with. I should have asked for his name. What a fucking douchebag!

Taking her virginity like that. No care. No tenderness.

What the actual fuck.

I mean, I’ve never slept with a virgin before. My first time was with a girl in high school. We’d been dating on and off throughout senior year, and yes, it’s cliché, but on prom night, we did it at the after-party. It was amazing and mind-blowing and… we officially broke up after graduation. That one didn’t hurt so bad. She got into Princeton and was moving to the other side of the country. Neither of us wanted to do the long-distance thing. We kissed, gave each other a hug, and murmured a few sweet thank-yous and endearments before going our separate ways.

But she’d only done it once before, and she’d told me to be careful. Her first time had been okay but not magical. So I took my time. She told me what she wanted, and I gave it to her.

By the sound of it, Jolie didn’t even have a chance to say what she wanted.

By the sound of it, she wouldn’t have even known what to ask for.

How can someone turn up to college so unprepared? It’s like her parents sheltered her from everything, then just threw her into the big bad world expecting her to land on her feet.

Shit, I can’t stop thinking about the various looks on her face as she bunched that sodden napkin in her hand and cried. I swear my heart was bleeding by the end, and as I watched her ride away on her scooter, I told myself to keep tabs on her.

The interviews are over now, but when I see her around campus, I’ll definitely give her a wave, maybe walk over and say hi.

Someone needs to keep an eye on her.

This cousin she spoke about, I wonder if she’s as green as Jolie is. Although I got the impression Jolie looks up to her. Damn, I hope she’s helping her too. Unless Jolie’s too ashamed to admit what happened to her.

Dammit. She shouldn’t feel any shame at all!

Shaking my head, I hitch my bag onto my shoulder and head to my first class of the day. I had a restless sleep, consumed by Jolie’s tearful confession. I can’t really do much about it, so I don’t know why it’s eating at me.

I just hate what happened to her. I hate that she never wants to have sex again.

That’s just wrong.

One bad experience should not put her off for life.

Shit, it must have been awful.

Scuffing the pavement with my Converse, I run over everything I said to her, hoping I did the right thing. Hoping I argued my point in a gentle enough way to reach her.