Page 71 of His Forbidden Alliance

“That I’d looked into things, and you weren’t with Ivanov, so he didn’t need to worry.”

“And that you liked me.”

“I refused to promise to keep my hands off you. That’s it. We’re not talking about this anymore, and we’re not talking to my family.” I knew how to keep my mouth shut. That was an essential life skill in my line of work, so how the fuck had I come so close to admitting I had feelings for Zach? Very inconvenient, impossible feelings. I could not let him know that, but I also couldn’t let my family hurt him. I would do whatever was necessary to keep him safe.

He might think he could tough it out with them, but no matter how much he had studied us, he couldn’t possibly understand the bond my brothers and I had. If they thought for one second that Zach was going to hurt me, if they knew what kind of danger he was putting me and the rest of us in, they wouldn’t hesitate to kill him. Unless…

Unless they knew how I felt. Love was something they understood, but this wasn’t love. It couldn’t be. I didn’t even believe in love for me, no matter how fucking adorable my brothers were with their men. What I felt for Zach was just the excitement of someone forbidden, the rush, the heat of the moment. I’d always loved anything filthy and illicit.

I turned back to face him. “Would you kill me to keep your career or keep this investigation in your hands? If I turned on you, could you do it?”

I watched his chest rise and fall with several shallow breaths. He held my gaze as he thought about his answer. Finally, he said, “No. Maybe when we first met, I could have. But now… no, I couldn’t.” He ran a hand over his hair. “Things weren’t supposed to be like this.”

“No shit. And I couldn’t kill you either.”

He sighed. “So what do we do now if bringing in your family isn’t an option?”

“Wait. You’re going to listen to me on that?”

“I can’t do it without your cooperation, but I know they’ve worked with enemies before.”

“Enemy crime families, not the feds.” Zach didn’t say anything else. I was sure he was waiting for more of an explanation. I turned away from him and walked across the room. “I thought finding the mole was going to make this easier. I thought he would lead us straight to Ivanov, and then we’d kill him and bring down all his associates who are left, but I was being a stupid kid again.”

I felt the heat of him suddenly right there behind me. He seized me by the upper arms and spun me around to face him. “You’re not a kid. You’re not stupid, and you’re not the weakest link. You know what you’re doing. You’ve improved the profits of the casino since you took over. You’re bringing more people in; things look fresh and appealing. I hate casinos, but I don’t mind being there.”

Well, fuck me. “That’s what I was going for.”

“And you’ve done it. You are an asset to your family, and if they don’t see that, then they’re fools. I don’t think they are because they couldn’t keep the business they’ve got going if they were. Fools couldn’t keep evading law enforcement the way they have.”

“They’re not, but I’ve always been the fuckup.”

“Was that on purpose when you were younger?”

How the fuck did he know that? “I just wanted to be seen. Dante was so fucking smart. Lorenzo was the oldest, and he was taking care of us. We had to do what he said, and we had to listen and then…”

“He’s the one who ended up in jail.”

“That wasn’t his fault.” Zach stared at me, and I looked away. “Lorenzo was betrayed. I can’t tell you the details, but yeah, he got angry afterward. He made a stupid choice, but he was pushed so damn far.”

“And your family couldn’t get him out of it?”

“Bargains had to be made, and he believed he should be the one to be sacrificed. He blamed himself and thought he deserved it.”

Zach studied me for a moment. “And what did you think?”

“That he made a mistake. That I loved him, and I missed him. Dante and I needed him, but I can’t tell him that because he already feels so much fucking guilt about it.”

“Do you think maybe when you screw up, he gives you the same benefit of the doubt?”

I shrugged. “I guess so, but you sure as hell wouldn’t think so from what he says to me.”

“Do you always say what you mean when you talk to your brothers?”

I thought of all the times I’d told Lorenzo I hated him when he tried to stop me from doing what I wanted, and all the times when “fuck you” really meant “I love you” or “thanks.” I shook my head. “No.”

“I bet he doesn’t either.”

“Maybe not, but we’re still not talking to them. I won’t put you in that kind of danger.”