Page 180 of Ashborne: Defiance

Maybe just to be in soft company would ease some of this pressure, and—

The tavern door opened and instinctively, before I’d even turned to look, I sank into the shadows of the alleyway between the buildings, slipping aside silently, then backing up to the wall, pressing myself to its solid chill.

I closed my eyes. What the hell was wrong with me? When had I lost so much control? Become so distracted? And why did my hands tremble right now, purely for thinking of her?

Mate.

I shook my head.

I couldn’t allow it. I couldn’t.

My heart sank and I turned, just as a small, trim, curved figure slipped into the dark behind me and I froze.

She stood in the shadow, little hands balled at her sides, and her shoulders crawling toward her ears. Her eyes were big, and round, those orbs shining with the bare hint of light remaining from the moon over our heads.

Shining, because they welled with tears.

“Why?!” she whispered.

I blinked. “Grace, you shouldn’t be out here by—”

“Just tell me why!”

“Why, what?” My voice was too high. Too tight.

She stamped her foot. She stamped her fucking foot. And it was adorable. And then she spoke, and something inside me broke.

“What did I ever do to make you hate me?” she whisper-screamed. “Because you pull at me. And it doesn’t stop! I tried, Voski. I tried to leave you alone. I tried to show you I’m safe. But you keep doing that thing where you turn your back and walk away like I’ve offended you, and how can I show you anything if you aren’t even looking?!”

“Grace—”

Her tears spilled over and sent a blade right to my heart. “I wouldn’t have made it this far without you. I know that. I’m grateful! Your advice was good, even when you yelled it. I remembered it today and it helped me. And I thought maybe you weren’t angry anymore when you hugged me because that was such a relief because I was so scared. And you’ve been staring tonight—”

“I’m sorry, I—”

“—and I thought maybe you’d actually talk to me this time, and I wanted you to, but you left. You left! Why?”

The word echoed in my chest. Sang in my ribs. Knocked on the walls around my heart.

I flinched. And she caught it.

I half-turned from her, sucked in a breath, and fisted my hands. “How did you get out here without anyone noticing?” I asked flatly. I had to. I was wrestling everything inside me to—

“The same way you would,” she said. And her voice broke. I closed my eyes. “Voski, I… When I want to, I can move without people noticing. We’re the same.” She breathed the words. I barely heard them. But they broke through everything I’d ever wanted to believe about myself and—God, she was incredible.

My limbs shook.

I opened my mouth, though I didn’t have words. Couldn’t have words. But then the door of the tavern opened around the corner and that bell jingled again. A wave of loud voices, laughter, and clunking glasses washed out, then were cut off by the door’s closing as boots sounded on the walk.

Grace turned her head, and the thought that she’d leave, or she’d run to the arms of someone else, slayed me.

I grasped her arm, pulled her to me, and turned us both, pinning her against the wall of the building. And when, shocked, she opened her mouth to question, I softly, tenderly, firmly placed my fingers over those lips.

And as I felt the plump swell of her lips under the pads of my fingers, I stared.

If anyone walked past, they’d likely see nothing. We were both dressed in black. But it meant nothing. Because she was right. We sank into this shadow as if it molded to us.

We were the same. God made us the same.