Page 34 of Temptation On Ice

“We can only commit to sharing things that belong to us from now on, okay?” I say as I reach over the tub, smoothing his dark hair back from his wet face, and rubbing his back gently. “If you want to share your stuffed dog or another toy, we can do that instead because they belong to you. But we wouldn’t be able to share Miss Sally’s sweater because it belongs to her, right?” I ask, trying to find an example that he might understand.

He nods as he continues to cry. “I just love the puppy so much,” he mumbles through his tears, breaking my damn heart. “I wish it were mine.”

“I know, kiddo. Think of something else you wouldn't mind sharing, and I’ll see if I can find out what the puppy is doing. No promises, because the puppy is very busy and could be out helping someone who needs it and not be available to visit for show and tell.”

He nods, but looks so sad, I hardly think he’ll be in the mood to do show and tell at all if he doesn't get his puppy wish. And just as I was giving him the speech about following through when you commit to something. Fuck, this is an impossible situation.

I get him bathed and ready for bed, reading him more books than usual because I feel extra guilty tonight, and when he finally falls asleep, clutching Mutt extra hard, I leave his bedroom and go straight to the kitchen to pour myself a shot of tequila. It burns as I throw it back, but I welcome the sting as punishment for not checking my email earlier when I could have solved this issue before eight-thirty at night. I take another shot and grab a beer, knowing I can’t get drunk tonight or I’ll regret it at practice tomorrow, and head to my bedroom.

I send a text to McKenna, needing to start somewhere on this wild puppy chase.

Sebastian: Hey, McKenna, it’s Sebastian. Sorry to text so late. Enzo is dying to share the Hydras’ puppy with his class tomorrow, and I just found out. Is there any way I could borrow it for like an hour?

It takes a few minutes of silently stewing and sipping my beer, but my phone vibrates with an incoming message.

McKenna: Oh no! I wish I could offer some help. The puppy’s in a three-week training session and can’t do events right now. I wanted him for another photo op last week, but it was during an intensive and necessary period of training, so I had to make other plans. Thank goodness he’ll be back for the first home game later this week! I hope you figure something out and Enzo gets to be a show and tell star!

Sebastian: Thanks anyway, I appreciate it.

I tap my phone and think of my options. I could reach out to Tucker and see if there’s a way he could bring one of his other dogs by, but that seems super selfish after avoiding him for days.

While I haven't spoken to him, I’ve thought about him plenty. I keep replaying our conversation in the kitchen over and over, learning he’s gay, and then applying that new information to every interaction we’ve had. Was he flirting with me when we joked around? Did he listen to me so intently and let me pour my heart out to him because he saw me as a potential love interest? What about all the hugs and touches? Everything always seemed platonic and from a place of care and deep understanding, but what if I read the situation wrong? I feel like I’m a good judge of character, and Tucker seems to be the best sort, so I ultimately have to assume he did everything with a pure heart and because he wanted to help, not with any ulterior motives.

Still, I wonder if he felt anything extra during those moments when we connected. How did it feel to him when our fingers brushed, or he wrapped me in a deep hug and let me cling to him? Why did he pull away when we were so close to kissing? Did he like that I asked him to stay when I was feeling vulnerable and cuddled him? What would he do if he knew I’ve jacked off to him a few times now?

Yeah, that happened again.

The damn body wash is my Kryptonite, I swear. As soon as I lather up the soap, it makes me think of Tucker, and I’m suddenly horny as fuck and thinking about him doing obscene things to me. It only got worse once I learned he’d actually do those things because he likes men, and now my imagination has run wild. A few showers ago, I was imagining him pressing me into the wall, hand around my cock as he fingered my ass, which was so far from anything I’ve ever imagined before, I ended up coming in seconds, gasping his name. I was a bit embarrassed by the whole thing, and no one even witnessed my shame.

I’m curious to know more about Tucker. When did he know he was gay? When did he come out? Does he give or take? It’s a morbid fascination, and he’s the only one who can answer my questions. I’ll have to either get over my awkwardness about making him the center of my sexual fantasies and reach out to him, or live with not knowing. When it comes down to it, I miss the peace and quiet of the woods and the serene comfort being around him gives me. If I want that, I need to get over myself.

I sigh heavily and take a drink of my beer for fortification before I open my texts to Tucker. I’ve finally changed his name in my phone from T puppy guy, which seemed a bit childish after I started jerking off to him regularly.

Sebastian: Hey, hope it’s not too late to message. I’m sorry it’s been a while. I’ve been busy with practice and Enzo and stuff.

I read back over the message I sent and cringe. That’s not even halfway true, and I need to own my part in this.

Sebastian: Actually, I was staying away because I didn't know what to say to you or what our friendship looked like after finding out you’re gay. It feels like something has changed, and I think it’s me. I have a lot of questions. If you’re open to it, I’d love to talk and learn more about this side of you.

At least I was more honest in that message, even if I didn't mention how I’ve fantasized about him. I swallow another gulp of my beer as the minutes pass before my phone vibrates.

Tucker: Good to hear from you, and of course, we can talk anytime. I’m happy to answer any questions you have. This changes nothing between us. I can be friends with men without wanting anything from them sexually, so don’t worry about that. I’m still here for you, my place is still open for you anytime you need it, and Enzo can play with the dogs whenever he wants.

Oh, wow, he just came right out and said what I was dancing around like a fucking child. He’s obviously the more emotionally mature of the two of us, or he’s used to having these conversations, whereas I’ve never even considered the implications. And I guess that rules out his wanting to do any of my dirty fantasies after all.

I sigh in resignation as I type out a reply.

Sebastian: Thank you, that means a lot to me. I hope you don't mind, I have a huge favor to ask, and I feel like the world’s biggest asshole for coming to you with it.

My phone rings with an incoming call from Tucker, and I hesitantly pick up. “Hello?”

“Just ask it already, Sebastian,” he says in his slow, quiet way that shows no sign of anger, and instantly puts me at ease.

I sigh into the phone, feeling like a bigger asshole because he sounds almost hopeful, and I’m about to ask him for a favor. “Enzo told his school he was bringing the Hydras’ puppy for show and tell tomorrow.”

“Hmm,” he hums with a slight chuckle. “That might be a bit tough.”

“No kidding.” I choke out on a laugh. “I asked McKenna if it would be possible to get him, but she said he’s in a training session and unavailable.”