Page 100 of Lethal Weakness

Even though I can’t see him… I know he doesn’t move until the deadbolt locks with a click.

Avery takes advantage of the acoustics and doesn’t stop singing the entire time we’re in the bathroom. She’s behaving so normally now that I don’t have the heart to bring up her bad dream… I have no idea how to broach what we went through last night.

I don’t even have a phone. I don’t know how many hours it’s been since we left home, or how long we have left on the road… But I have a feeling that she’ll be awake for the long haul now, and I won’t have a chance to get any more answers out of Jack for a while.

Eventually, I’ll have to tell Avery about her dad and grandparents. As in, she’s never going to see them again, and they were bad people, but in an age-appropriate way.

I’m definitely not looking forward to that conversation.

“Chariot’s here,” Jack says through the door, but I’m suddenly feeling heavy with the burden of what the future holds.

How am I going to get Avery through this unscathed?

I open the door, and Avery darts at him, full of energy.

“Would you mind playing with her for a minute so she can stretch her legs? I’m afraid she’s going to get stir crazy if we get right back in the truck.”

“Sure. Want me to take you back first?”

“No, I can walk.” Slowly.

He looks unsure, but I give him a tight smile because it’s all I have to offer in front of Avery.

I take my time down the sidewalk as Avery climbs boulders and pretends to be an airplane up and down the small grassy slopes.

By the time I get to the truck, I’m exhausted and in pain, but even worse, I can’t keep the tears at bay. Guilt is eating me alive, and the events of last night can’t be shoved to the back of my mind any longer.

I almost died. I almost lost Avery. A deep heaving sob rips through me, and I hide my face in my hands against the side of the truck.

I’m crying so hard that I can’t catch my breath, and each ragged inhale burns down my throat.

But when I hear Avery giggle merrily from behind me, I suck all of it back and shove it down deep inside of me because I can’t let her see me fall apart.

No, I can’t let her see how indescribably broken I already am.

By the time Jack is putting her back in her car seat, I’m wiping the moisture from my face, and he’s glancing at me cautiously.

“Are you in pain?” He asks, coming to meet me on my side.

“Not the physical kind… Well, my ankle really fucking hurts, but that’s not why I’m crying.” I shake my head, barely keeping the dam from bursting again. “Everything is so screwed up. How could I have put my daughter through this? God, I feel like I can’t breathe,” I heave hoarsely.

“None of this is your fault. You are doing what is right for her.”

“You say that so confidently.” I scoff, wiping my eyes with the backs of my hands. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t even know where we’re going.”

“I know you’re terrified, but I’m taking care of everything.”

“Why? Why have you always been so willing to help us?”

He steps closer, wiping a rogue tear away. “It never felt like I had a choice. I met you and Avery, and I stopped caring about everything else.”

“But you were lying to us. How do I know you aren’t lying now?” His face is just above mine, giving me unrestrained access to the pain my question brings him.

“It killed me to lie, Linden,” he admits softly. “You were never supposed to become important to me. I’ve gone my entire career not letting anything get under my skin, but you cracked me wide open within days. I didn’t want to tell you the truth about what I was doing because I didn’t want you to be involved in the dark part of my life. I wanted to be in the light, where you were.”

“Jack,” I murmur, staring at his usual seriousness, but now it seems so much more transparent. He’s not hiding anymore.

“I only want what’s best for you and her,” he whispers. “Please, believe that.” His eyes plead with me as desperately as his voice.