Page 10 of Ashes to Ink

Adrienne’s eyes widened, and then she clapped her hands,bouncing from one foot to the other. “Have we worn you down? I knew we would.”

Abby rolled her eyes. “If it’s okay with you, I’d like to beworked into the schedule. Especially this next quarter once I hire someone toactually help me at the shop.”

“I can’t wait. We’ll work with spreadsheets. Not that I’mthe best with spreadsheets, but Roxie and Shea are really good at them.”

As accountants, Shea and Roxie had heads for numbers andschedules. If they could help Abby with trying to make sure she did as much aspossible without running herself ragged, then she’d take it.

“So…” Adrienne began. “What’s going on?”

“I loved Max. I still love him. I’m going to love him forever.It’s just hard trying to figure out exactly how I’m supposed to feel when,sometimes, I just want to say it’s okay to not feel.”

“I’ve never gone through what you have, so I can’t reallytell you what to feel. But then again, even if I had been through it, Iwouldn’t tell you what to feel. If you want to miss Max and still move on? Ithink you know what you’re doing with that. And I like the man that I’velearned through you, and the way you talk about him around Julia. I think hewould have wanted you to figure out this new person you are.”

Abby smiled, stirring her tea. They had gone with an herbal,fruit-infused tea that was a little too summery for the season, but she’dneeded to think about something a little peppier than the cool winter. “I’vedated. Well, I’ve been on two dates. I didn’t wear my ring. I couldn’t. Ididn’t even get married, so I only have the engagement ring to begin with. Wewere waiting for Julia to be born before we got married.”

“I know, you told me. And I love that ring. I’m glad youkeep it in your tray on your desk.”

“That way, it’s always with me at work. I used to keep it inmy wallet, but then my wallet got too heavy, and it hurt to think of. I keep ithere, and then I take it home with me. I don’t know why I do that, but I’llfind a pattern that works for me. I’m never going to forget him. And I don’twant to. But it’s just…it’s just weird starting over.”

“And is there someone that you want to start over with?”Adrienne’s question was probing, but it wasn’t malicious. They were just twogirlfriends talking about what-ifs in relationships. Abby hadn’t done that inforever, hadn’t allowed herself to. Maybe it was time she tried.

“Not really. I just…I don’t know. It’s just a little hard.”She wasn’t going to tell Adrienne about Ryan yet. Or ever. Those were justweird thoughts that didn’t have anything to do with anything anyway.

Just because she had felt heat between them, some kind ofconnection, it didn’t mean that she should be up in arms in her head trying tofigure out exactly where she stood with him, and what her thoughts with Maxwould be if she thought of Ryan more.

“Well, whenever you want to talk, I’m here for you. All ofus are. And we love you. Because you’re family now, even if you don’t reallyunderstand yet that the Montgomerys take over yourlife and never let you go.”

They both laughed at that, and Abby rolled her eyes. Whenthey finished their tea, Adrienne left to get back to work. Abby finished upher online orders and then helped a few customers who came in to shop for theholidays. Over the next two hours, Abby moved right into lunch. Teas’d was full of people. The holiday rush was nice, andshe knew that her bank ledgers would be happy after today.

Abby was just finishing up the last of the rush, thinking thatshe would probably grab something quick to eat over at Thea’s, when Ryan walkedin, his hands in his pockets, and his leather jacket zipped up to ward off thecold from outside.

She was so surprised to see him, she nearly dropped her teacanister. She shouldn’t be shocked. He came in often for tea, especially sincehe had coffee in the morning over at Thea’s and then enjoyed afternoon tea withher.

She didn’t know why, but she couldn’t stop looking at hiseyes.

She really should stop looking at his eyes.

“Hey, I just wanted to check in on you. See if you were okay.Adrienne said Thea took you and Julia over to the pediatrician’s and that Juliais fine. But I didn’t know if you went to the doctor, too.”

Abby set the tea canister down on the counter, grateful thatshe didn’t break it open, but a little annoyed that she didn’t have anything todo with her hands. “I didn’t go, but I’m not bruised. I don’t even have a seatbelt burn. We were going so slow, I think I’ve hurt myself more running intothe couch.”

Ryan’s lips quirked into a smile. “I’ve broken a toe runninginto a couch, so I get it.”

Abby cringed. “Me, too. It’s those damn pinky toes. Theyjust like to latch on.”

She was talking about toes. Broken toes.

Apparently, she was rusty at this. Whatever thiswas.

“Yeah, pretty much. But I’m glad to see you’re okay. And I’mglad Julia is, too. I could use some tea if that’s okay with you.”

Abby jumped into action, moving around the counter andcloser to him. “I’m so sorry, I should’ve asked. What can I get you?”

“You don’t have to serve me, Abby. I’m just here because Ilike your company. And I like your tea.”

Her stomach did that weird flopping thing that she hadn’tfelt in so long, and she was kind of worried about it. What was she doing? Wasshe reading this wrong? Or maybe she was going insane and just thinking toomuch. Because Ryan was her friend. Nothing more.

She just had to get that through her head.