Page 85 of Legacy

“What do you mean?”

“At first, they told me that they could fix it. That they just needed to find the right meds, and she would wake up, and we would go from there. And then they had a setback. Then another.”

“Oh, Callum.”

“And when they did that, they asked me if she had any wishes that needed to be met.”

“Like a DNR?”

“Like a DNR. She wanted no extraordinary measures, but she wasn’t brain-dead yet.”

“Yet.”

“So with each passing hour, the nurses and doctors would come in and check her reflexes. They’d roll that little metal spike over the arches of her feet, over her palms.

“The first time, it was her right side. When her right hand no longer responded.

“That’s when they told me because they assumed she would wake up, that she would probably have paralysis in that right arm. So I told myself that we would get through. I had the money, and she was so damn strong.”

“I don’t think I’m sorry really works here. But I’m sorry.”

“Me too. But that’s not the worst of it.”

“You really don’t have to continue.”

“Yes, I do. Because it wasn’t just her right arm. Then, it was her right leg. Her foot was no longer responding. So my mind went to the fact that, at the time, we were living in LA and still trying to figure out where we were going to put this brewery, and we had a two-story house. The main bedroom was upstairs, so I’d have to figure out how we could either move or find a way for her to be downstairs all the time. Which would devastate her. Then she lost her left hand. So that meant a certain kind of wheelchair was out, and so many other things that I didn’t even understand. Hell, she had sat by my side for the full year that it took me to recover from breaking my leg in two places. I’ve watched guys that I used to hang out with all the time break down their bodies because they throw themselves at each other for a fucking football game. And I miss football. I loved it. But I’m glad as hell I got out before I did something to hurt my brain.”

“I’m glad you did too.”

“Because with each passing moment, I got to be a little more selfish when it came to Georgia.”

“What do you mean?”

“Because I was so damn afraid I wouldn’t be strong enough to help her. Because, by the time we got to her final foot, where there were no reflexes, but her brain still hadn’t been declared brain-dead, and her heart was still beating on its own, I had no idea what the hell we were going to do. Because what if she woke up and couldn’t talk. Couldn’t feed herself, couldn’t move. And part of me, just for an instant, thought maybe it would be easier if she didn’t wake up. Because I didn’t think I was strong enough to help her. And then, an hour later, after the worst thought I’d ever had in my life, the doctor came in and did one final cognitive test. And it was over.”

“Callum. You didn’t do anything wrong. That was so much to go through in such a short time. Especially since I know you were still healing from your broken leg.”

“I don’t blame myself that she died. But the monster in me that was relieved for just those moments that she did? That’s the part of me that knows I’m no good for you, Felicity. That’s the monster. Just like the fact that I beat the shit out of that kid when he hurt you. And I would have killed him too. I wouldn’t have felt a single inch of remorse for killing that kid. Just like my dad has not a single inch of remorse for killing my mom. And maybe even killing my stepmom.” I held up my hands so she could see the ones that had just held her, that had just left bruises on her hips when I slid into her from behind. “These hands? They’re just like my father’s. That’s what I see when I hold you sometimes. That’s why I’m not a good man.”

There. It was all out there. All of my truths. Hopefully, all of my secrets.

I reached for my phone, ready to leave, knowing that this was it and it would be for the best, when her phone buzzed.

She frowned at the readout, and I looked up at her.

“What is it?”

“I think it’s Kellan. Why would he be calling me? Oh my god. Mom and Dad.”

I moved forward as she answered my friend, the town doctor’s, call and watched as her knees gave out.

She couldn’t speak. She just let out a sob as I put the phone to my ear.

“Kellan? What happened?”

“Callum? Why are you with Felicity? Wait, that doesn’t matter. She was his emergency contact. Since his family was here. So I had to tell her first.”

“Tell her what?”