Page 13 of Break My Heart

The way she looked at me told me I was becoming someone important to her. And I allowed those feelings to grow with this rot still festering deep inside me.

My thoughts circle around to the first time she brought me to her sanctuary.

“My mother’s family has a house upstate,” she says casually over dinner one night. “I go there when the city gets too loud.”

“Are you inviting me?”

Her expression softens slightly. “I want to.”

No games or manipulation. Just open desire.

Driving her car through winding roads lined with trees blazing gold and red, I’m following the GPS since Christin’s asleep in the passenger seat. One of her hands is curled loosely over mine, like even unconscious she can’t not touch me.

When we get close, I wake her gently. She growls, “I was in the middle of a nap. You kept me up far too late last night.”

“I plan on doing it again…whoa.” Just then, the house comes into view. It’s spectacular. “You inherited this?” I ask quietly.

“Yes.” She smiles faintly.

“It looks majestic.”

“Mom used to say the house healed people.”

Dangerous words.

That weekend changed everything, not just because of the amount of sex we had—though, Christ, I can still remember her hands on me. The sounds she made when I kissed her neck. The way she looked at me like she wasn’t afraid of wanting me.

Afterward she stayed tangled against my chest while rain hit the windows outside. She whispered, “You don’t have to impress anyone here.”

I’d gone still immediately, staring at the ceiling because looking at her felt impossible. She followed it up by saying, “It’s safe here, Leo.”

That nearly broke me because Christin had no idea about my past or the arrogance people assume I have as an F1 driver, yet her heart brushed up against every single vulnerability. The curated version of myself that I built carefully enough to survive scrutiny didn’t appear. With Christin, I never quite managed to keep that shield in place.

I never had to.

I drag a shaking breath into my lungs and realize too late my vision has blurred with more bloody tears. I try blinking them away but one slips free before I can stop it.

Then another.

I duck my head sharply, pressing the heels of my palms into my eyes hard enough to hurt. But my grief keeps coming anyway.

Sitting here on the balcony of Dario’s flat, I finally understand something that should’ve been obvious from the start.

Christin never asked me to become someone else. She just wanted to love me.

With that understanding, I let myself break.

6

SHORT SHIFTING: UPSHIFTING EARLY TO REDUCE WHEEL SPIN OR SAVE TIRES

One month later

The quiet is the same as it has been since Leo and I ended. What’s new is how much I hate it. A month ago, I would’ve embraced the clean, controlled quiet of my penthouse. A life with minimal distractions and maximum output.

Now it feels like an echo chamber.

Every time it’s too quiet, my thoughts loop. Every memory with Leo replays. Every word he spoke wounds me again, just like it did the first time.