Page 41 of Crease Collision

After sending Mamma a mental thank you, I sit down to eat and read Kai’s messages again. In the first, he says, “Things will be hard with you starting your new job and my season beginning.” I sip coffee and read the second message. These words stop me: “I bet you’ve had to fight off the boys with a hockey stick.”

Since Kai went away, his messages have been careful, telling me only enough to avoid saying anything real. But in these, he may have told me more than he intended to.

I have never heard anyone but athletes speak of my season. Curious. He also mentioned a hockey stick. More curious. From American movies, I know the expression “beat them off with a stick,” but Kai did not say that. His words were, “fight them off with a hockey stick.” Fan.

What the hell does he do for a living?

Searching for him on the internet would be an invasion. Or would it?

Minutes pass while I put the dishes into the sink and move to my new couch in the living room. I stare out the window at the beautiful High Line view while I think things over.

If I search and find nothing, I will feel foolish and relieved. If there is something, I may have the key to repair things with Kai and learn where I stand with him.

I am tired of waiting. I need information so I can understand.

Typing KAI MERCER into the search bar brings up an astounding number of results. I tap on the Wikipedia article.

Kai Mercer is an American professional ice hockey goaltender for the New York Condors of the Hockey Federation of North America (HFNA). Widely regarded as one of the top goaltenders in the league…

Herrejävlar! I sit back and read the first few lines again, slower this time. The New York Condors. Everything already makes more sense.

Mercer was selected fourth overall… named the Condors’ starting goaltender…

It is no wonder we connected so well. Despite our differences, we share the most important thing in our lives.

I race through the words until one line stops me: Mercer has spoken publicly about being neurodivergent…

For a long moment, I stare at the peace lily by the window. Everything falls into place. His focus, the careful way he speaks, the patterns he notices. The way he tracks everything.

Gunnar was neurodivergent. He was also brilliant, complicated, and one of the best people I have ever known. Kai is very much the same, and he is even more extraordinary than I thought. Not many could have accomplished all he has while carrying what he carries.

I exhale slowly.

Now I understand Kai better, but I still do not know why he is afraid of me.

I change into running clothes, and the thoughts follow me out the door and all the way to Central Park.

In the evening, I sit in my new recliner and reply to Kai’s messages from last night.

OSKAR: I am so happy to hear from you, silly Kai. I cannot wait to spend time with you, and the only thing I have beaten off is my own stick, the one you love so well. If you want to see me, we will make it work. Will you contact me when you are back in town?

His answer may tell me a lot or nothing at all. I need to be prepared for either one because Kai will do what he does. Though I hope to be part of his life, he has to want the same thing.

It isn’t long until my phone buzzes.

KAI: I’m surprised no one has scooped you up. Yes, I’ll text you so we can meet. Good luck starting your new job.

Kai is not a man who feels nothing. He simply does not know what to do with all he feels. I will wait for him to tell me about himself; letting him know what I’ve learned would only scare him more.

We will be at different training camps now, but whether he messages me or not, we will see each other soon. The Fury will play the Condors in our season opener.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

KAI

October

The bus trip from Manhattan to Weehawken takes less than half an hour. As we ride into our new season, the team is quiet, focused on getting a win.