Page 105 of Crease Collision

While I’m talking, he places a hand on my chest and says, “Will you stop talking about this?”

“What?”

He raises his voice enough to make me jump. “We don’t need to talk about the fucking Condors.”

I’m shocked. It isn’t because he stopped me; he’s always been good at sensing when I’m on a verbal breakaway, but he’s never been rude about it. I think I understand why he was, but that doesn’t make me feel any calmer.

“Sorry,” is all I can manage.

“Sorry I snapped at you, but since I got here last night, all we have done is have sex and make small talk. I’m not complaining about the sex, but we are more than that. There are things we need to discuss.”

I let out a rough sigh. “You’re right. Let’s get up.”

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

KAI

We sit side by side on the couch, each of us backed up against an arm. Oskar has his hands clenched in his lap. When I meet his eyes, he nods, telling me to start.

Fuck me, because I can’t think of what to say. “I…” He stays quiet, so I try again. “It’s been… Ozzy, I…”

“I’ll go first,” he says. “This week was very hard for me, starting with you canceling our plans last Saturday. I don’t know why you did that.”

“You do. I told you…”

“Your friends invited you to something, and you agreed to go. You broke a date with me to spend time with people you were going to see all week. But you have not said why.”

“I didn’t think it through.”

His expression is static—not angry, not smiling. “That’s what you said, but it still doesn’t tell me why.”

“I won’t do that again.”

“Okay, but we’re still not saying what we need to.” He looks at the window, and when he turns back, his eyes are shiny. “What happened this week, Kai? I did not hear from you much. When I did, you said the right things, but something was wrong. I was reaching for you but only getting part of you back.”

Fuck me.

He gulps air and goes on. “Sometimes, I wondered if you wanted to talk to me at all. I felt like you were doing the least you could do and still say you kept in touch. It hurt.”

“Come on, I…” A lump in my throat cuts me off, and I have to swallow before I can continue. “I had things on my mind, Ozzy, but we were busy. It was a long trip. The games were hard, and logistics kept getting messed up. Waiting in hotels, getting our luggage delivered to the wrong rooms, guys…”

This isn’t good enough, and I know it. I don’t know how to put things together so they’ll make sense to him.

“Something is happening inside you that you’re not telling me,” he says. “Maybe it’s unfair for me to be upset over that, because there are things I haven’t told you either.”

My mouth goes dry. Is this it? He’s about to leave?

He looks into my eyes. “I do not believe what happened this week was about hockey. I think you are hurting, and I wish you’d tell me why.” He pauses. “I have been hurt too.”

Does he mean by me? Fucking shit. I scoot down the couch until our legs are touching. “What is it, Ozzy?”

He looks unsure.

“You can tell me,” I say.

“I’ve lost people. You know about my friend Gunnar. I told you a little about him that day we went to Strawberry Fields.”

I nod. “You said he died.”