Page 63 of Bluebell’s Fate

The gravel walk crunched beneath Bell’s feet as she and her father came up the tree-lined drive. Ash and Godmother were sitting under the ash tree on the side yard, a book spread out on Godmother’s lap as she read to him. An idea struck that lifted Bell’s heart.

“Ash,” she said as she drew closer to them. “I have a favor to ask of you before you leave.”

He stood up slowly, thanked Godmother for reading to him, and then ran to hug her. His dark curls bouncing across his forehead. He’d need a haircut soon. Bell squeezed her little brother. “The library at Gardner Manor is more extensive than the library I have here.”

Ash nodded his agreement.

“Would you be my book lender? You can send me books of stories, and then I’ll send them back along with some stories of my own.”

His blue eyes glittered up at her. “How do I know which books to pick?”

“Why don’t you consult with father, or Frederick?”

He nodded again. “I can do that. It will be fun knowing I’ll be getting your stories when you send the book back.”

Bell swallowed. It was one aspect of bluebells that she hadn’t been brave enough to embrace until now. The bulbs of a bluebell could be crushed to make sap that was often used to bind books together. Even if she didn’t live in her woods, she could create stories from deep within her that could live on, not only in her mind, but with her brother.

What was magic if it wasn’t shared? She was finding fewer reasons every day to try to escape her reality. There was so much hope in the relationship she shared with Nathaniel, she was optimistic her story would have a happy ending after all. If Bell was learning anything, it was that she might just have to create her own magic instead of waiting for the magic to find her.

Chapter Forty

Nathaniel watched Lord Gardner’s carriage rattle away down the gravel drive, with Ash leaning out the window, waving one hand furiously at Bell. She didn’t put down her arm until they were out of sight, but she was smiling. The fact that there wasn’t a torrent of tears streaming down her face was a good sign, Nathaniel thought. It seemed she wasn’t terribly upset at being left behind. As for Nathaniel, he felt he was losing a couple friends.

It had been quite some time since he’d experienced that. Ever since he’d finished up at Eton, he’d been working in his quiet country estate. Friends that had time to visit were far and few between. If one of them ever did show up, they never returned. Nathaniel didn’t blame them—his parents weren’t exactly hospitable. But Lord Gardner was different. He could be anything from terrifying to comforting, but for the most part, he was a good listener. The conversations Nathaniel shared with the earl proved to be filling the gaping hole in his heart where his own father ought to have been. Lord Gardner helped Nathaniel navigate how to balance helping with his father’s estate and establishing his own space as a married man. Putting his advice into practice was something else entirely, but Nathaniel was hopeful. And Lord Gardner expressed his confidence in his abilities.

Bell took a deep breath beside him. “Shall we go in?”

“I think so.” Nathaniel was thankful that she placed her hand in the crook of his arm instead of in his own sweaty palm. He knew it was time to go over the ledger with her—no, it was past time. “I keep the ledger in the office. You are welcome to come peruse it again on your own anytime.” He led her inside the office that was only slightly larger than the servant’s quarters, but it was well organized.

Bell swept into the room at his side, and the small space felt different. Nathaniel was so used to working alone; this would take some getting used to. He pulled out his chair for her and got her situated. “I’m going to grab a chair from the dining room. I’ll be back shortly.”

When he carried the chair back into the room, Bell was leaning back in her chair, looking at his bookshelves lining the entirety of one wall. Almost every book he had was pertinent to the estate in one way or another. Not a single book of fairy tales or novels dotted the shelves. Would she truly be interested in such dull topics? Bell gave him her full attention when he took his seat beside her. The most current ledger was in the top drawer in front of Bell, and she retrieved it for him.

Nathaniel tried to make himself believe that this moment wasn’t one of utmost importance. Bell knew that he wasn’t as well off as her father. She didn’t expect that. But still, she must have some expectations. When it came down to it, the bottom line was quite telling.

Bell’s face gave away nothing as Nathaniel walked her through his £500 per year, how much of that he used for upkeep of the estate and tenants, how much money then tenants typically brought in, and how he balanced that with what was typically used for food and basic necessities. Then he showed her how much of it he was saving for larger projects. This category was the one he wanted to show her the most. “I’ve been working with a builder. If I help with the labor, we could afford a decent sized conservatory before winter sets in.”

“What other large projects do you have looming on the horizon?”

Nathaniel tugged at his cravat. “Nothing too elaborate. I’ve set some aside for you to be able to redecorate a few rooms, maybe make some holes in the walls of the cottage, and one day, to create a nursery.”

To his surprise, Bell blushed prettily. “I think the blue room, with some added windows, would make an excellent nursery.”

The small office was getting quite hot. It could have been the heat from the day, but Nathaniel had other suspicions. They’d gotten comfortable with each other over time. They even shared the same bed now, thanks to Lord Gardner’s surprise arrival. But his father-in-law was gone now. Would Nathaniel lose what little intimacy he had with Bell to that dratted door that separated their rooms?

Nathaniel sat staring at the writing in the book before him, but he didn’t see the numbers.

“How long ago did Ian and his mother live here?” Bell asked, fingering the pages of the book.

Ian? Here Nathaniel was thinking about intimacy, and Bell was thinking about Ian? It was a sobering and humbling thought. “Um,” he tried to think. “They moved back to their estate when I was five. So, it’s been twenty years.”

She nodded, apparently deep in thought. “Did you get along as children?”

How had a conversation about their finances taken this turn? He was finding it difficult to follow Bell’s reasoning. She’d been invested in knowing where they stood—to the point of tears—and now, it seemed like she didn’t care at all. “No,” he replied. “We’ve never really gotten along.”

Bell didn’t look surprised, but she placed her hand atop of his, and squeezed lightly. “Thank you for showing me this.” She motioned to the ledger before them.

Nathaniel shook his head. They were back to talking about finances now…thank goodness. Numbers in his perfectly balanced account book, he could do; processing thoughts of Ian, he could not. “I should have shown you long ago. I know it’s not what you are accustomed to.”