Page 56 of Bluebell’s Fate

“What a wonderful addition that would be.”

“Yes, it would,” Bell agreed, warming up to the idea. “Has building a conservatory been something Nathaniel has planned on for a while?” She bit her bottom lip, knowing that the answer would be crucial to understanding his desire for the conservatory.

Godmother was quiet for a few moments. “I don’t recall him saying anything about it before.”

That was precisely what Bell feared. Nathaniel lived by his plans; he was meticulous and thorough. It served him well. The tenants she’d met respected him, and he always accomplished more in a day than Bell ever had. If he was changing his long-term plans on a whim, was it because of Bell? Hadn’t she disrupted his life enough as it was? She didn’t want him to later regret decisions he made in a time of upheaval. The more she came to rely on him, his friendship, his goodness, his tender touch, the more she wanted Nathaniel to be happy with his role as her husband.

For if Nathaniel ever held her with bitter memories years from now, it would haunt her. It felt like dark fairy magic—a reckoning for intruding on a sacred space. What space was more sacred than a heart?

Guilt pricked Bell’s conscience again. Was Nathaniel’s heart even his to give? Had Bell ruined Nathaniel’s future with Miss Stone? No. She couldn’t believe that Nathaniel was in love with another woman. He hadn’t mentioned Miss Stone once as they’d talked together. But then, why would he talk about a woman that he loved if he was forced to marry Bell instead? She already knew he was a kind man; he wouldn’t force that knowledge upon her. Could she forgive herself for her foolishness if she’d come between Nathaniel and his true love? Could she live a full life not knowing the answer?

“Bell,” Godmother prompted. “Bell, do you need to go back to the house? You’re losing color again.”

“I’m fine,” Bell lied. “Where is Nathaniel this afternoon?” She needed to talk to him, to sort out her feelings, and learn how to move out of this space of unrest in her soul.

“I believe he went out with Ash and your father to show them the borders of the estate. They said they would be back before dinner.”

Even through the unrest, Bell couldn’t help but smile. Of course Nathaniel would be back by dinner. There was something calming to know that her husband was predictable and reliable.

The sound of horse hooves made Bell turn around. Ian—she had a difficult time thinking of him as Mr. Cutler after her conversations with Nathaniel yesterday—was riding toward them. She clenched her teeth and stepped closer to her godmother.

“What a fine day it is, ladies.” Ian tipped his hat to them. “Lady Bluebell, it is good to see you.”

Bell only nodded.

“Where are you going, Ian?” Godmother asked.

The lazy smile that crept across Ian’s face made Bell wish her godmother hadn’t asked. It was obviously just what he’d hoped. He put a hand on his heart. “I find it difficult to stay away from Miss Stone and her family.” He winked roguishly toward Bell, and she felt her face heat through with embarrassment.

“You do realize you’re going the wrong way, don’t you? The Stones live behind you,” Bell said. She wished him as far from her as possible.

“Of course they do. But I couldn’t pass up an opportunity to see you, my lady.” He slowly looked her over from head to toe, making Bell cringe. “You are looking quite desirable today.”

Godmother stepped forward. “Ian, stop this,” she hissed. “Don’t make me regret bringing you along.”

“Stop what, Grandmother?” he asked all too innocently. “I would never dream of disappointing you. But you are right, I do need to leave. Miss Stone is waiting for me.”

Bell relaxed her shoulders as he rode away. The backside of a horse never looked so good. She shouldn’t have been watching so closely as he left, but she could have sworn he missed the turn toward the Stones’ estate.

Perhaps she could invite Miss Stone over for tea. Meeting the woman in person may be the easiest way for Bell to understand her relationship with Nathaniel. This was a matter Bell needed to understand. A thousand different stories about Miss Stone’s past with Nathaniel ran rampant through Bell’s mind in a muddled mess. She tried not to let them scare her. She wanted to trust Nathaniel. He hadn’t given her any reason to do otherwise.

Maybe it was Nathaniel’s influence rubbing off on her, but Bell wanted to make a plan. She spent the remainder of her walk with her godmother talking it over. She wanted to prove that she could be a good hostess to her in-laws. If they were to be neighbors, Bell wanted to build some sort of a bridge between them. And although Bell didn’t expressly tell her godmother her worries, she wanted to clear her mind of the concern she had over Miss Stone. Perhaps it was because of Bell’s old ways of thinking that her husband was a scoundrel, but she was too afraid to ask him outright what had happened. Nathaniel had never talked about her, but there was definitely history between them.

Bell walked down the steps for dinner five minutes early. Nathaniel was already in the corridor, talking with her father. Their conversation halted as she reached the foot of the stairs. Nathaniel stepped forward and held his hand out to her. “Good evening, Bell. You look stunning.” He swallowed.

“Thank you.” She took his hand, and he drew her close to his side. “How was your ride this afternoon?” She looked between Nathaniel and her father.

“There is no wonder your family estate flourishes like it does,” Nathaniel said. “I’ve learned a lot today.”

Bell’s father shook his head. “He’s being modest, Bell. Nathaniel has things well in hand here. In fact, even without generations of wealth and status to carve his way, he is a far better steward than most gentlemen.” He patted Nathaniel’s shoulder in camaraderie.

In that moment, Bell saw her father in a new light. He was a pillar at their home, constant, solid, reliable, and Bell suddenly realized that he was also lonely. He’d been gifted with Ash, a son and the heir to his title. But for a long time, he’d only had women in the family to try to connect with. A difficult feat when Bell’s mother claimed ownership for the girls’ upbringing. Ash was still so young. Rose’s husband, Frederick, had a great tendency to joke; her father didn’t seem to take him seriously. But now, he had a son-in-law who was mature enough that they could share ideas. If she wasn’t misreading the situation, Nathaniel and Lord Gardner were becoming friends. The thought gave Bell no small amount of joy for them both. Her father might not know how much Nathaniel needed a solid fatherly presence in his life, but it seemed he would be taking on the role.

At dinner, Bell presented her plan to the small group gathered at the table: a picnic lunch with Nathaniel’s parents and Ian in a couple of days. Ash was excited to play some games on the lawn; he vowed to help make the games with Bell’s godmother.

Nathaniel seemed to enjoy the idea, but he was so difficult to read sometimes. She wavered in her decision for only a moment. If she was going to learn the truth between him and Miss Stone, it might as well be sooner than later. Bell cleared her throat. “I’d like to invite our neighbors, the Stones, if that pleases you.”

Nathaniel’s brow knit together.