Page 37 of Bluebell’s Fate

The walk back home was so different from her walk to the inn. Where Bell had been filled with dread, and hopelessness, and anger, now she was filled with peace and even giddiness. Nathaniel told Bell about his late-night wandering to the church on the night of their wedding, and his meetings with an architect at the inn. Their conversation didn’t answer every concern Bell had felt, but she didn’t need to know everything. She only needed to know that she could trust him—and the events of the day had marked the beginning of that trust.

That night, life at the cottage was easier. When Bell didn’t suspect Nathaniel to be less than a gentleman, they were able to dine without any amount of awkwardness, and whether they talked or had spaces of silence, she felt more at ease than she had before.

Granted, that probably also had to do with the fact that they were alone, and what was more, they were trying to understand each other. Thank goodness Rose and Frederick had decided to dine with Nathaniel’s parents. When they retired to the small parlor after dinner, Bell didn’t need to pretend to read. She picked up a book and the words flew through her mind as she lost herself in a story, while Nathaniel wrote in his pocket notebook beside her.

Nathaniel escorted her to her bedchamber when they decided to turn in for the night. “Sleep well, Bell.” He placed a kiss on her forehead.

Bell’s cheeks were hot as she stood there, framed in her doorway. She wanted more than what Nathaniel had given her, but she refused to rush this. This budding friendship in their marriage had enough tinder in it to start her on fire if she allowed it to breathe. She mentally stepped on the embers of her feelings. Fire was a dangerous thing when it wasn’t used wisely.

She thought back over her interactions with Nathaniel. He’d always been proper and kind to her. Had her imagination truly led her to jump to such awful hasty conclusions? “Thank you, Nathaniel.” She swallowed and looked down at the floor. “And I’m sorry for assuming the worst of you.”

He squeezed her hand gently, but she couldn’t bear to meet his gaze. “You have suffered from those assumptions far more than I. For me, it’s been mere hours, and I was beside myself with worry for your feelings. You…” he lifted her chin so she would look at him. “You have held on to this belief for weeks.”

A tear slid down her cheek, and Nathaniel wiped it away.

“I cannot imagine the pain and heartache you’ve endured.”

She shook her head slightly. “I’d like to forget all about it.”

Nathaniel threaded his fingers into her own and kissed her knuckles. “I hope you don’t forget everything. What is a heroine without an obstacle to overcome?”

His words filled her up and helped her smile at him before she shut herself into her room. The door clicked behind her, and she leaned back against the smooth wood, her head tilted up to the ceiling. Bell could have sworn a fairy had helped her today. She didn’t know why or how, but that familiar tingle of magic had returned to her mind and heart. What would she do with it?

Chapter Twenty-four

Nathaniel shrugged out of his waistcoat and tossed it onto his bed. One thing had become abundantly clear to him today: his marriage wasn’t going to look anything like what he’d planned with Miss Stone. There would be no working together like colleagues with Bell. Yes, Nathaniel’s parents had found success in running the estate and working toward common financial goals—that argument was what had convinced Nathaniel that proposing to Miss Stone was the correct path for him. His parents respected one another—even if that respect didn’t extend to him.

Actually, when he thought about it, his mother was more ornamentation than a contributing partner. Not that she couldn’t contribute, but his father didn’t allow her to. It was his father that made all the decisions. Had Nathaniel fooled himself enough to believe that their marriage resembled anything beyond friendship? Bell would be squashed if that was all Nathaniel ended up being to her. He couldn’t allow that.

Bell had earned Nathaniel’s respect today when she’d faced a terribly awkward conversation with him. Yes, she’d jumped to incorrect assumptions about his nature, but could he blame her? The evidence she’d laid at his feet would have anyone asking themselves the same questions. Bell had thought him a scoundrel. He smiled at that, for nothing was further from the truth. If only she hadn’t kept the truth of her suspicions from him for so long.

He pulled out his notebook and looked over his thoughts from this evening. Bell wanted to be loved, she’d told him only the night before, and until today, she thought love would be impossible to find in their marriage because he wasn’t going to be faithful. But she was wrong. He could show her that. He could show her that he cared for her, prioritized her needs, and, even though he’d never put much stock in the idea of love…he had no doubts that he would grow to love her.

If he was being honest with himself, he was halfway there already. She was beautiful, brave, and she clearly valued virtue. The only problem was that on one occasion—about a month ago—Nathaniel had acted like a cad. He had kissed her, and he had forced her into this marriage. Lady Bluebell was a woman of incredible worth, and he’d practically stolen it. Why had he chosen then to act like his brother? Edwin’s selfishness, deceit, and arrogance had been the foundation of his character. And the one time Nathaniel left his guard down, he’d fallen into the trap of acting like the brother he hated. Perhaps he hadn’t sunk quite that low, but he’d been so thoughtless. He ran a hand down his face. Bell deserved better than him.

After Wilson helped him prepare for the night, Nathaniel sat in his bed, staring hard at the drawing on the back of the door that connected his room to Bell’s. She deserved better than him—so he would be a better man. He couldn’t change her. He didn’t want to. She was refreshing and utterly naive in the ways of the world. How he adored her for it. He could only work on making himself worthy of the fairy he’d married. Perhaps if he did that, he could earn her love in return. He resolved upon this new plan, blew out his candle, and slept.

Nathaniel rose with the sun and heard coughing and scraping coming from down the hall when he exited his room. He looked toward the blue room with a twinge of guilt. Mrs. Carter likely had her hands full making the space habitable again for Nathaniel’s grandmother. Perhaps he could hire another maid from Cairnsby Hall to help her. Previous to today, he’d been able to ask for help, and the cost would be covered by the estate. But since he’d created independence from the estate for the time being, extra funds would be required. Nathaniel planned to use all his extra money on creating a conservatory for Bell.

His pace of life was going to be different now that Nathaniel’s father was going to try his hand at managing the estate once again. Nathaniel had more time, but less financial freedom.

Who was to tell him he couldn’t help Mrs. Carter himself?

He followed the coughing and opened the door to the blue room. Bell had a broom extended above her head batting at cobwebs that had been left to multiply in the corners over the years. Dust showered over her head, making her hair look almost gray, and she coughed again. Nathaniel’s mind jumped to how charming Bell would look when she was older, and found he was excited to be able to see it.

He blinked hard. Why was she here doing manual labor? This didn’t speak well for him at all. That she should find herself working like a maid in their own home would surely bring down the earl’s judgement faster than the time it took for the dust to settle once more on the floor.

“Bell, what are you doing? Why haven’t you asked Mrs. Carter to see to this?”

She smiled at him over her shoulder, and Nathaniel’s heart skipped a beat. “Mrs. Carter is helping. But she has so much to do, and I was hoping to make this room available for Rose and Frederick soon. I’m not worried about a little bit of work.” She put the broom back down on the floor and her smile faltered. “I am woefully inexperienced though. I do hope I’m not creating more to do in the end.”

His aunt had been the last occupant of this room. His parents hadn’t wanted her to take the main bedrooms in case a prospective tenant wanted to look through the house—an offer that never came. It was unkindness, really, that his grieving aunt was relegated to a single room while her sister, Nathaniel’s mother, stayed in the large house next door. Nathaniel was too young to remember why she’d finally left. Despite his sympathy, he knew it would have been a good day. She had never cared for him. He didn’t have a single memory of her choosing to be kind.

However, he knew that his aunt and his mother were close friends. Over time, his aunt had slowly made over this space, as it was the only room his parents allowed her mistress of. For some reason, she’d been completely enthralled with the color blue.

“What are you thinking about?” Bell whispered.

Nathaniel shook his head. “Nothing I wish to dwell on.” He took her hand and looked into her eyes. They were bluer than any object in the entire room, but they held curiosity. He wasn’t in the mood to tell his wife about his horrid aunt. They had a job to do.