Page 88 of Gave Proof Through the Night

“You’re not a terrible person.” I peel the pillow away from her face before she smothers herself. “I’m the terrible person. I’m the one who talked you into this.”

“Operation in progress, ladies.” Zoe doesn’t turn around. Six monitors glow in front of her, one of them looping the same eleven seconds of an empty hallway while she works around it. “Some of us are hacking a private security network over here. Keep it down to a dull sob.”

We ignore her.

“I lied to him.” Tanya’s voice cracks straight down the middle. “The love of my life. I lied to the love of my life.”

“You didn’t lie.” I hand her a paper towel off the roll we keep by Zoe’s monitors for exactly this kind of emergency, though usually the emergency is spilled energy drink. “You omitted some details. Some very important details. But you didn’t lie.”

“He’s such a good guy.”

“He has green flags all around him. Like a parade. A very sincere, slightly derpy parade.”

“And I can’t start my marriage with…with omitted details.” She swipes under her eyes with the heel of her hand. “I’m going to tell him.”

“Tanya.” I catch her by both shoulders. “Tanya, look at me. We’ll tell Dale together. But stop for one second and think. Are you prepared to lose him?”

She doesn’t even blink.

“Better to lose him with honesty than keep him with a lie.”

Oof. That hits me right in the solar plexus. I know my relationship with Jeremiah isn’t the same as Tanya and Dale’s. I’ve only known the man a few weeks, and even then, we’ve only been… what did he call it? Amantes? Well, whatever we are, it’s only a few days old. I have no business comparing my feelings with Tanya’s. But the sentiment still gets me. She’d rather keep him with honesty. That’s the one thing I can’t give him.

I don’t say any of that out loud. I just watch Tanya wipe under her eyes with the heel of her hand and pull her phone out of her back pocket.

“You’re calling him now?”

“I’m calling him now.”

“OPERATION,” Zoe cries. “IN PROGRESS.”

Tanya calls him now.

Dale picks up on the second ring, and the first thing out of his mouth isn’t hello.

“Hey there, Sugarplum. My Sweet Cheeks. I missed you so, so much today.”

Tanya’s whole face changes. The wobble drops out of it, replaced by something soft and lit from the inside.

“I miss you, too, Schmoopy.”

“I wub you, Pudding Pop.”

“I wub you too, Big Mac.”

“I wub you so, so much, my Pop Tart, my Honey Bunches of Oats.”

Oh boy! Did somebody miss breakfast?

Dale’s voice echoes through the whole room, not realizing he’s on speakerphone. “You’re my Squishy. My Tater Tot. My whole entire heart, Marshmallow.”

Tanya does not seem to mind the public display of food pet names, and just responds back to him. “You’re my Cuddle Dumpling. My Poochie Woochie. My Muffin Man, forever and ever, no take-backsies.”

“I cannot wait to make you my wife, my Sugar Plum Fairy. The day I get to call you Mrs. Booboo Bear, I might actually die.”

“I can’t wait either, my. My Sweetie-boots. You’re my one and only McMuffin till the end of time and possibly after.”

I reach over and take the phone before she can dissolve entirely into a puddle on the floor.