Page 47 of Smitty

He walked out and stormed into the bathroom. He took a shower that lasted at least an hour, and when he got out, he went straight to bed. The next morning, he got up early and went straight outside. He mowed the yard, even though it didn’t need mowing, and when he finished with the yard, he cleaned the garage and his truck. I could only assume that he was doing what he needed to do to sort out all the thoughts in his head.

When he finally came back inside, his clothes were damp with sweat, and the anger had faded from his face. In its place was something worse.

Sadness.

When I told him it was time for me to leave, he didn’t argue or try to stop me. He just asked, “What about Anslee?”

“I was hoping you could watch her, but if you don’t want to…”

“I’ll do it.”

“Are you sure you don’t mind?”

“Watching her? No. You leaving to see this guy who left you and broke your heart? That’s something else entirely.” He walked over, kissed my forehead, and said, “But do what you gotta do.”

“I won’t be long.”

“Just be careful.”

“I will.”

I grabbed my purse and started for the door, but stopped when he said, “I’ll be here when you get back… Just like I’ve always been.”

His words stuck with me all the way to the lake.

I knew how he felt. He’d never tried to hide it, but I’d never encouraged him. If anything, I’d tried to push him to move on. But I couldn’t help but wonder if I made a huge mistake by moving in with him. I feared it might’ve misled him.

Guilt began creeping in as I continued my drive to meet the man who was responsible for me holding back with Ryan. He was leaning against his motorcycle, and he couldn’t have looked better.

That didn’t help matters.

I pulled up next to him and parked. I took a deep breath, and then I slowly climbed out. My God, he looked even more handsome than he did when we first met, and it took all I had not to wrap my arms around him as he stepped over to me and said, “You came.”

The words I'd rehearsed in my head were gone. My nerves took care of that, but one thing remained. One thought that had to be said. “You were always enough.”

“What?”

“You were more than enough. You always were. I tried to make you see that.” Tears blurred my vision. “I loved you… I loved you so much. I wanted to spend my life with you. I should’ve never transferred schools.”

He looked away, letting out a slow breath before shaking his head. “No…”

“If I hadn’t left…”

“It would’ve been something else,” he interrupted.

“How can you say that?”

“If it wasn’t your school or my work, there would’ve been something else that would’ve gotten in the way.” He shrugged. “You knew the end was coming, or you wouldn’t have been so torn up about leaving.”

“That’s not true. I wanted things to work with us.”

“Did you want us to work all those times you told me you were too busy for me to come up for the weekend?”

“Yes, actually I did.” His expression softened when I told him, “I wanted to finish up early, so I’d doubled up on my classes. I knew it would be hard, but I thought it would be worth it if I got to graduate early. I never thought…”

“You never told me.”

“Because I knew you would try to talk me out of it. Besides, it wasn’t just me. There were plenty of times you were too busy for a visit, too.”