Page 83 of Twisted Needs

I start laughing so hard I have to grab his shoulder for balance. “My condolences. I understand your pain.”

He nods curtly. “Thank you.”

For a while, we just dance and talk and drink. Seth floats in and out of conversations like he always does. One second he’s next to me. The next he’s talking to strangers. Then he’s back again. At some point, he squints at Vandy, then points like he’s found a golden egg. “Dude.” Vandy visibly deflates. “That’s where I know you from.”

I deadpan, already knowing where this conversation is going.

“You play for the Sents,” Seth points out. “Star center.”

Vandy rolls his eyes and smiles bashfully. “You caught me.”

“No hockey.” I point between the two of them begrudgingly. “I’m serious. I am so fucking sick of hockey.” The words come out sharper than I mean them to. Immediately, Parker flashes through my head. Stupid fucking Parker. Everything somehow circles back to him, like my brain is doing it on purpose to torture me.

“I bet it’s all your brother talks about,” Vandy says. Unfortunately, that opens the floodgates. The conversation drifts toward Luca. Then the team. Then Parker. Always fucking Parker.

“He has a soft spot for me,” Vandy admits. The pride in his voice actually makes me snort.

“A soft spot?” I laugh. “Dude. He’s fucking obsessed with you.”

Vandy’s entire face lights up. It’s actually kind of ridiculous. “Seriously?” he asks. “Deadass?”

The innocence in his voice pulls me from my silent protest for a beat. “Yeah. All the man talks about is making sure you secure Rookie of The Year. He’s always on the phone with Bish talking about line changes and ice time and when the best time is to have you play.”

The smile on Vandy’s face grows wider, like I just told him Santa Claus is real. It’s stupidly endearing, which only makes me more annoyed that we’re talking about Parker again. I need out of this conversation immediately. “Hey, Sethie.” I glance over my shoulder. “Wanna go to the bathroom with me?”

Before he can answer, Vandy jumps in. “Oh, thank God.” He sounds genuinely relieved. “I’ve really been needing to go.” It almost feels like he’s been forcing himself to stand here…

I stare at him. Then I close my eyes. Of course. Of fucking course. Drunk Anders can’t handle needy men.

The bathroom trip is a disaster. Vandy waits outside the stalls the entire time. Like, the entire fucking time. Not checking his phone. Not talking to anybody. Not wandering off to find Malloy. He’s just standing there waiting like he’s our security detail.

At first, I tell myself he’s just socially awkward, but then we leave the bathroom and he follows us back to the booth. I make a mental note to watch him a little more closely. Seth and I stand up again. Vandy immediately follows suit, mid-conversation with Malloy about stupid music again. Back to the dance floor the three of us go. Back to more hockey talk because apparently Seth has decided tonight is the perfect opportunity to put his communications major to work and interview a professional athlete.

I spend most of the conversation drinking and trying not to think about Parker. Unfortunately, Parker keeps showing up anyway because I’m in hell and the world hates to see Drunk Anders thrive.

A story about practice turns into something Vandy says about the team. Then it’s a passing comment about road trips. And then Drunk Anders makes the mistake of checking his phone.

Pet’ka

This is fucking killing me

I can’t bear the thought of you hating me

I’m an asshole. I got jealous. I know I fucked things up

I need you.

Oh my God. This isn’t real.

Me

seth needs me more

srry daddy

I shove my phone back into my back pocket. He can sit with that text for a while. Maybe he’ll rethink the last few months.

It’s like trying not to think about a song after somebody gets it stuck in your head. The harder you try, the worse it gets.