Page 196 of The Bonds of Indigo

“But you knew you’d have to. If you wanted to trap her, Amarah, you knew⁠—”

“Son.” Proserpina cuts him off. “Children’s hearts are pure and hold energy yet to be expelled over time. However, a Yldarwright can also sacrifice someone equally as strong as the person she was trapping.”

It’s like I can hear his heart shattering. The look of absolute devastation breaks through the anger that had consumed him. I get it. He had no personal connection to those people, but they were still kids. Only the heartless would see what happened as anything but cruel and evil.

“I’d begged them to kill me,” I whisper. “I promised the mirror my life to trap hers, but it wouldn’t let me end my own. It had to be done by someone else.” I shake my head, disappointment burning in my chest. “Vendra wouldn’t let me die. Then, when she found out about the deal I made with the mirror, I was playing defense trying to put myself between the people of that town, and her attacks.”

His lips part, but nothing comes out. Instead, his hand lifts to my cheek, thumb gently sweeping away my tears.

Lucifer is anything but stupid, and the puzzle finally begins to put itself together in his head. His eyes flick between mine. Searching. Assessing. Piecing together everything I’ve told him from our very first encounter up until this moment. Putting together the parts I hadn’t said aloud.

“Your family.”

“Yes.” I breathe. “She killed them because they were a threat to her plan.”

“Oh, Amarah.”

I sigh through a sob that gets caught in my throat. No, stay strong. Please, stay strong. “Don’t tell him, Lucifer.”

“Shh.” He places his hand down behind my neck and pulls me into an embrace. “Bloody Beyond. What is going on…”

“Don’t tell Kayn. Please…”

“Kayn?”

Oh, fuck. Why did I say that?!

Chapter 48

“Son.” Proserpina’s voice feels too loud, even if she whispers.

I was scared before, but I’m terrified now. The shaking my body is doing is impossible to control, and if left unchecked, I’m sure I’d find myself in the floor in no time, ready to drill myself straight to the center of this world.

Now who’s the stupid one. Me. Clearly.

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

“Amarah, shh.” Both of Lucifer’s hands come up to my cheeks, cradling my face and lifting my gaze to meet his. “You’re worrying me, it’s alright. She… she already knows Kayn is here.”

The moment he leans in and presses his lips to mine, I feel a strange sensation of calm. It’s like the moment a candle holds steady. No flickering, no shaking. Just a quiet, unwavering flame.

I close my eyes, grabbing onto his shirt and allowing the feeling of his mouth on mine to settle me.

Only after a few moments, he pulls me back, before placing a few kisses against my cheek. “Answer me first. Why don’t you want me to tell him?”

Swallowing roughly, I shake my head. “I desecrated those kids. Even if they were already dead.” My voice is raw, and I feel too exposed to the truth. It’s too close, too real. “It doesn’t matter the purpose of⁠—”

He chuckles, cutting me off.

He’s… laughing?

“W-What?” My singular word is breathy and confused.

“The fact you think he cares is… endearing.” His lips are on mine in a fleeting kiss. “Take a deep breath. That is a trivial problem right now when you’ve just told me a Yldarwright was going to summon my father and was working for Vaeloris.”

I mean, it’s not trivial to me. I’ve fallen hard for that Vampire, and imagining him leaving me is something my brain can’t fathom.

“Lucifer, dear.” His mother clears her throat. “You failed to tell me the connection between your partners, but suppose this answers that. All the pieces are falling into place now.”