Page 190 of The Bonds of Indigo

And for not pushing Kayn away. He needs you.

Chapter 47

We slept through the night. At least I assume so, because when I woke this morning, I was completely sandwiched between Kayn and Lucifer.

Safety was something my parents always wanted for me. They taught me their ways and made sure I had the ability to do for myself what most would never want the burden of. I’ve never looked to a man or woman for anything.

That doesn’t mean it isn’t nice to want to be protected and cared for.

That’s exactly how I feel now, sitting at the island counter while Lucifer puts together a plate of eggs and waffles for me—and earlier, when he carried me into the shower after we woke up.

He stared at me the entire time, never touching me other than to wash my hair.

We both wanted Kayn to join us, but he couldn’t. We weren’t just washing away the sex from last night, but trying to wash his scent from us, too.

It’s also why Kayn has begrudgingly positioned himself as far away from me as possible while still technically being in the same room.

Anyway, I’m no less independent than I was before everything went to shit in Sylverton. Kayn may carry me, and Lucifer may want to do… this for me, but I’m fully capable on my own.

It’s just wonderful knowing someone, multiple someone’s, want to do it for me.

“I still don’t like it.”

I tune back into their conversation now that my food is plated in my lap.

“Why is he so insistent on her staying?”

Lucifer sighs. “He’s using the death of one of his Grimhorn as an excuse. I’m pretty sure it’s greed. He needs something from her. There aren’t many” —he glances at me, and his expression turns weary— “Yldarwrights left alive. And the ones who are, are nearly impossible to find. Especially pureblooded. I can’t imagine he wouldn’t have sought you out at some point.”

That is terrifying. Imagining it being Belial instead of Kayn who took me from that prison sends goosebumps rolling down my arms.

I do my best to just go back to eating, but the food does nothing to settle the ache building in my stomach.

“He can’t fucking have her. And I’m sorry, Lucifer, but if he tries anything, your Familiar likes me better and will bring me to her.”

“He cannot. I’ve made that very clear…” His voice trails off, and I know what he’s thinking without even asking. His father—Belial, King of the Beyond—takes what he wants.

I’m not afraid of him taking me. I’m afraid he’ll ask something of me I can’t, or won’t, give.

Vendra hinted at something brewing between Belial and the Gods. War? Conquest? I don’t know. But I won’t be a part of it. And whatever information Lucifer was gathering in the Vayl, I doubt it was a recipe for baking bread.

I think part of why I haven’t brought it up is because he hasn’t asked about the mirror, or why I needed it. Maybe he doesn’t understand its purpose…

“Dollface?”

My attention snaps to Lucifer. “Yes?”

“You aren’t eating. ” His smile is genuine, but shadowed with worry. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

I move the plate and rest it onto the counter beside me. “You didn’t, I promise… Can we just go? Get this over with?”

He takes a deep breath, and nods.

I glance at Kayn, who’s sitting in a chair in the corner of the room, Zuhara’s head resting in his lap as he pets her. Apparently she marched straight to Tulu—Belial’s Familiar, and a fucking lion—and told him that if his master didn’t watch himself, there’d be Beyond to pay.

It’s so fucking adorable how she protects Lucifer the way she does.

“Thank you,” I murmur, giving Kayn a wink. “I promise not to be away for three days.”