Page 161 of The Bonds of Indigo

“Amarah, listen to me.”

Lucifer’s voice comes through—not the bond, something else. It isn’t through my ears; they’re clogged. I’m underwater, submerged beneath trauma I could’ve sworn I’d moved past.

“I cannot bring Kayn, because my father will smell him on me. I had to destroy your clothes because he’s all over them. I wrapped you in my shadows to drown out his scent and replace it with my own. The last thing I want is to hurt you. I can keep you both safe if you just trust me.”

W-Where are you…?

“I’m right behind you. Just open your eyes.”

How can I hear you…?

“I’ll explain, but come back to me. I’m not going to hurt you, and I’m certainly not going to rape you, dollface. I swear it.”

It takes several long moments to claw myself upward—out of the darkness, out of the memories, out of the panic. I force my eyes open, blinking hard.

It isn’t the bed frame that greets me, but steam pillowing toward a dark ceiling. Small, flat rounded lights provide just a little illumination, but they are for aesthetics, I’m sure, because it’s not bright enough to really do anything.

When I lift my hand, the sound of water shifts around me. I look down slowly to find myself submerged in a black porcelain tub filled with warm water. Strong arms wrap around me from behind—too pale, too unmarked to belong to Kayn. I’m completely naked, but the legs bracketing my hips are clothed.

“Scared me there for a second,” Lucifer murmurs behind me. His refined accent sends goosebumps skittering down my spine. “Thought you might’ve been too far gone for me to pull you back.” He releases a soft sigh. “I couldn’t connect you to Vendra, so water was the closest thing I could find to anything natural from your realm. I hope it’s alright.”

My lips tremble as I keep blinking the anxiety away. I take a shaky breath, and I really don’t know what to say. But I guess in our currently position, what is there to say?

He moves one arm from around my waist to drape over my shoulders, keeping my back pressed tight against his chest. Where our skin touches, my body ignites.

“I can use my shadows for many things,” he murmurs. “They’re completely tangible. Restraints, weapons… I’ve used them for thousands of your mortal years. They’re like an extra set of limbs. I can even use them to get into people’s heads. I had to reach the furthest part of yours, but I promise I didn’t look at anything I wasn’t meant to.”

He pulls me gently, tenderly, closer. “Though I did pass the part of you worrying I was going to… take you without consent. I should feel offended you’d even conjure that thought about me.”

I’d love to have this conversation face to face, not him talking to the back of my head. For now, I’ll take in the sound of painful sincerity in his voice and hold onto the feeling of safety it provides.

“I don’t know how much you understand about how we feed,” he continues, his breath fanning against my ear. “But I’m a little different from the rest of my kind. While making you orgasm is the fastest way for me to feast on your lifeforce… there is another method.”

His hand glides from my shoulder to my throat, where he holds me with a careful, steady grip. My chest rises and falls too fast. It’s impossible to keep my heart in check.

“You just… have to need me. Want me. Then your gates will open just a fraction for me to feed.”

My pulse is so loud I swear I can hear it echoing inside my skull.

“Me making you come will be far easier than that, I’m afraid.” He doesn’t move his hand from my waist, but his tone dips—smooth, dark, seductive in a way that is dangerous. “But it’s your choice which you’d like to try, dollface.”

“You said…” The words stumble out of me in a frantic mess. “You said there were two reasons you couldn’t stop touching me. One was because of your father… What’s the other reason?”

His thumb trails up along my jaw, and as he lifts my chin, he brushes his lips against my ear. The soft huff of his laugh sends every hair on my body standing on end. “Because I don’t want to… It isn’t just his scent on your skin that I can smell, but his cum inside of you. It makes me want to spread you open and shove my tongue inside of you to taste you both.”

My heart skitters and slams so hard against my ribcage I stop breathing.

“But I’d be a lying Demon if I said that was the only reason. You’ve been on my mind ever since that night.” He lowers his head slightly, his nose brushing the curve of my neck—right where Kayn feeds from me. “Fate is an interesting bitch. Bringing you both to me when I can’t have either of you… so sue me for wanting to touch what’s forbidden to me.”

Every bone in my body vibrates, especially when he presses a kiss to the puncture marks from Kayn’s fangs. The sensation forces me to bite my bottom lip to choke down a whimper.

The moment Lucifer walked through the passage to the Vayl, and I learned the terrible truth of what had happened to my family, I shoved him out of my memory completely. He was a reminder that I’d tried to stop a future that was inevitable, and that you cannot defy fate.

A painful reminder that I… failed them.

My jaw clenches. And while all of that is true, I’d also be lying if I said I didn’t feel a strange connection to this man. It’s why I wasn’t afraid of him—though maybe I should’ve been. He could snap his fingers and bring the entire Beyond down on me.

“Tell me one thing…”