Page 67 of Slow Hands Cowboy

And when Walker’s truck pulled up to a beautiful house that was nestled in the trees, she unbuckled her seat belt as quickly as possible and practically hurled herself out of the truck, her knees trembling as she bent forward, gasping for breath.

“I can’t believe it. I almost married him. I almost married him and it would have been a disaster. And I just... how could I have gotten myself so wrong. Everything so wrong.”

Walker unbuckled and got out of his side of the truck. Then he rounded the front slowly, making his way to her.

“You didn’t. That’s the important thing. You didn’t marry him.”

“No. I didn’t. But I⁠—”

“Don’t do this right now.”

“If I don’t do it now, then when am I going to do it? When am I going to sort all of this out? I’ve never had the time, I’ve never paused for even one second to actually...” She looked up at Walker, and she felt a fearful kind of certainty when their eyes met. They were just so blue, his eyes. “I’ve never really known what I wanted.”

It was a lie, though, because she had known that she wanted him. And it had been the most terrifying thing in her whole life. Until Alan had blown it all up and forced her to take another look at what she was doing to herself. At what she was doing to everyone. Alan too, frankly, because even though he was being a dick, she hadn’t loved him. She really hadn’t loved him. Not ever. She had just wanted to love him.

“I’m running a campaign. I don’t have time to have an existential crisis.”

“Maybe you do. Maybe... maybe that can be part of the campaign.”

“How?”

“I just mean that you don’t know who you are. You don’t know what you like. What are some things around town that you haven’t tried? Whitewater rafting, zip-lining⁠—”

“I’m not zip-lining.”

“You don’t have to zip-line if the zip line doesn’t align with your values.”

“The zip line has nothing to do with my values, but it does sound scary, and I don’t want to.”

“Fair enough. Maybe.”

“I guess I kind of get what you’re saying.”

But discomfort lodged behind her breastbone, because there was something else. Something else that it made her think of, but she wouldn’t let herself form that thought.

It was like that kiss he’d given her outside the truck had jolted her. Ripped her into a new reality. But that was ridiculous. As ridiculous as believing she could feel his presence. It made no sense. There was no way you could feel someone’s eyes on you, and no way a kiss had the power to rip you into a new dimension. Definitely no way that you could still feel the impression of another person’s lips on yours a full twenty-five minutes after they had first touched you.

Impossible.

All of this was impossible.

“Let’s get your stuff moved in. Come on,” he said, moving toward the bed of the truck and grabbing hold of one of the largest boxes that they had put back there. “I can show you where you’re staying.”

“Well, I... Thank you.”

She reached into the back of the truck and grabbed a duffel bag that she had put all of her toiletries in. She had been working off of reduced stock for the last couple of weeks, since everything she had with her was what she had planned to take only on her honeymoon. She had too many moisturizers, and she did know that. But it was too tempting to buy another one every time she saw a new one that made a slightly different promise. The idea of moisturizing in Walker’s house was a little bit weird, though.

She tried to ignore the undercurrent of intimacy that came with that train of thought. It wasn’t intimate. It was no different, really, than her staying at the hotel or in a cabin. She was a guest on the property. And this house was massive.

“You could have a whole wing of rooms if you wanted,” he said as he opened up the front door and led her inside.

She turned in a circle, blinking. The floor was made of slate gray tile, dark red wooden beams running the length of the ceiling, used as accents on the wall, and as window boxes. And the windows were spectacular. His view was pristine, of Mustang River itself, the actual river, not the town, and towering pines around them. There appeared to be a deck off the back of the house that stretched over the river, and it was easy for her to imagine sitting back there and soaking in the relaxing sound of the flowing water on the rocks. Yeah, it would be a totally relaxing place to stay, if Walker weren’t also in residence.

“You can choose a bedroom. There are three of them upstairs on the right. On the left, there’s my office, and my bedroom. Because the river view is all mine. But feel free to choose from any of the others. Or all of them. And... Then you can come downstairs and tell me which things we ought to put in the barn for storage, and which things you’d like to keep.”

“Okay. That sounds good.”

This was an adventure. She decided to look at it that way. She was... straying into completely unfamiliar territory, putting herself in an unfamiliar situation. And maybe he was right. Maybe that was what she needed to be doing with this time. And maybe it would help the campaign. She could go to restaurants she hadn’t been to, not just the ones that Alan always chose. She could... try different activities, though she really didn’t want to do zip lining, and she could...