Page 42 of Slow Hands Cowboy

“She has been. I mean, she’s called and texted to make sure that I’m okay.”

“Glad to hear it,” he said.

She knew that the way their mom had left had really hurt her dad on their behalf. And the older she got the more she understood that. But of course, her dad couldn’t feel all that happy when his kids were miserable.

Her dad was a high-pressure kind of guy. He pushed both her and Jackson to be the best versions of themselves. He could be judgmental – Walker being a great exhibit of that, but it wasn’t like she wasn’t cut from the same cloth.

He was complicated, in other words.

But he loved his children.

Part of him loving them, though, was wanting them to reach the peak of their potential, and she understood that.

It was evidence to him, she supposed, that they were okay.

And she knew that he had worried about that a lot. About being enough for them, doing enough for them, which was why they were in so many extracurricular activities.

He couldn’t be two parents, he couldn’t be their mother, but he could make sure they didn’t lack for anything, and he had certainly done that.

“Thank you,” she said.

“For what?” he asked.

“For everything, Dad. None of this is your fault, and I feel like it’s just so disappointing and –”

“I’m not disappointed. For you, but never in you. What Alan did… He violated my trust in him, and he could come crawling back on his hands and knees and I would never forgive him.”

Her dad paused for a moment. “Unless you really wanted to forgive him.”

“I don’t. I couldn’t. Not that.”

“I understand that.”

Her dad’s words were hard and heavy then, and she realized that he was talking about his own experience. But there were things that he wasn’t able to forgive. It didn’t mean that he had been asked to forgive them, but she understood. She understood because she felt the same. Her pride would never allow her to let Alan come back to her, not after that.

She still hadn’t sorted through her own feelings, the weird doubt that she had been experiencing right before the ceremony. She hadn’t figured out if it was normal, or if deep down, she hadn’t really loved Alan as much as she had hoped that she did. But it was very hard for her to sort through, because she was just so disappointed in him now. Because she felt like all the memories of him ever kissing her, telling her that he loved her, made her unclean.

“Yeah, you don’t have to worry. Alan could beg, and I wouldn’t take him back.”

Begging. Again, she tried not to think of herself begging.

“I’m proud of you,” he said. “You’re making the best of this situation. It’s what a good politician does.”

She also didn’t really consider herself a politician, she supposed, because she wasn’t interested in politics beyond what she was looking to do in Mustang River, but she would take the compliment, because to her dad it was one.

And most of all, she was heartened by the conversation. And he was so proud of her. And he wasn’t disappointed or angry just because it wasn’t perfect.

Of course, she knew that her dad was better than that, that he cared more for her as a person than he did about external achievements, but it felt really good to hear him say it.

That was when she decided she had to actually grow up and look at her campaign accounts.

At least.

Anna had put out statements, and had turned off comments in some places, which she greatly appreciated, so nothing was too insane. At least, nothing more than broader social media, which she had already made the mistake of immersing herself in last week.

She was done with all that. She had a dinner date to get to tonight, and that was the thing that really mattered.

She texted Walker to ask where they were going, but he didn’t respond. To the point where she had to get dressed, get ready without having any idea where they might go, though she had a feeling that Anna was right in her guess of where he might take her, and she decided to lean into that. Not that it really mattered. She was going to look her best wherever he was taking her.