Page 80 of Ship Happens

Owen can’t help how his ears perk up. “Confused about what, exactly?”

Jacob lets out a deep sigh. “I told Kaitlyn before I flew back to San Francisco that I could keep my feelings in check, that I’d be okay with being around you again. But it’s become clear to me that I couldn’t have been more wrong.”

Owen pauses, taking in the words.

“What feelings?”

“I’m still in love with you,” Jacob admits.

Hearing the words aloud shocks Owen enough that he drops the dough cutter he’s holding, letting it clatter to the floor. Thankfully, he’s already done using it.

“I’m sorry,” Jacob says, squatting down to pick it up for Owen. “You asked.”

“I did,” Owen says. “I just didn’t think . . . I don’t know. I didn’t think you were going to say that.”

“Sorry, again.” Jacob sets the cutter in the sink.

“Don’t be,” Owen says to him. “I’m not upset, I—” Owen’s not really sure what he feels, but it’s suspiciously similar to relief, knowing that Jacob feels the same way he does.

So he admits it.

“I’m still in love with you too.”

If only so that Jacob will know that he’s not alone.

There’s a moment between them, the silence stretching on and on while the rest of the class continues to move around them. Bowls clatter, a sink is turned on, someone smashes blueberries that splatter all over their white blouse and Mel races to help them try and clean it.

And Owen and Jacob just keep staring at each other.

“I wish that it wasn’t true,” Owen continues before he regrets the words. “Actually, no . . . I don’t wish that. I don’t want to stop loving you, Jacob.”

“I—” Jacob pauses, hesitating enough that Owen can tell he doesn’t want to say the words. “I really thought that you’d never want to see me again. I’d hate me after everything I put you through.”

“Like?” Owen can’t help himself from pressing.

“Like leaving. Neglecting you those last weeks . . . The worst part was that I knew I was losing you, that we were drifting apart. And instead of fixing it, and just talking to you, I—”

“You make it sound like none of it was my fault,” Owen interjects.

“It wasn’t,” Jacob replies. “What did you do?”

“I could’ve been kinder to you, more patient,” Owen admits, opening the oven door to slide the scones in. “And I certainly didn’t make the decision easier for you. And I could’ve been an adult, gotten over myself and just gone with you, figured out how to make things work.”

Because making sacrifices for each other is a part of being in love.

“It was selfish of me to ask you to pack up your life,” Jacob says to him. “San Francisco is your home.”

“I don’t think the situation was fair to either of us,” Owen admits. They stare at each other again, Owen wondering where they go from here now that they’ve admitted the truth. It’s not like they can do anything with their feelings. Then Owen continues, “Maybe it needed to happen. You’re doing what you always wanted, and I’m going to . . . open the shop, maybe . . . The breakup was the kick we both needed.”

“Yeah, I guess it was,” Jacob agrees, but he doesn’t seem pleased. “What do we do now, though? I mean . . . with what we both said, and last night—”

“It doesn’t matter, does it? This cruise will be over soon, and you’ll go back to work and so will I, and that’ll be that. Right?”

“Right . . .” Jacob hesitates before he nods. “So, I guess we’re back where we started?”

“I guess so,” Owen says pointedly. “Yeah.”

Jacob turns back to face Owen, then he lets out a chuckle.