Page 67 of I Punched an Alien and Now We’re in Couples Therapy

Her breath came out frantic. It took a few moments before she said, “Yes…yes! They have the concourse and gate number printed at the front of the plane. I’m in concourse D, gate 21.”

“Concourse D, gate 21,” I repeated. “What does that even mean?”

Blair growled in frustration. “That means you’re in an airport. Just follow the signs that say Concourse D. You should start to see signs for it just after you get through airport security.”

I looked around the bustling airport, but all the lettering was completely foreign to me. “I don’t understand your human symbols, how do I get to the security?”

“Oh, fuck me in the ass.”

“Now is not the time for that,” I scolded.

“Son of a—” She sucked in a breath. “Look, I can’t move my hands, but if they gave you the same kind of phone thingy they gave me, then there should be a video feature attached. Strum your finger along the feather and see if it does anything.”

I did as instructed, and nothing happened. I turned the feather over and did the same to the other side, and a screen appeared. In it, I saw Blair strapped to a chair and what looked like a metal tube with two rows of chairs on each side of her.

She smiled wide when she saw me. “Oh, thank Jimi Hendrix’s guitar strings, it worked! Okay, lift the screen around so I can see where you are.”

I held the feather above my head, letting the screen scan the surrounding area. One of the humans bumped into my shoulder, and I nearly dropped it. I kicked the bumbling idiot out of the way. None of the other humans bustling about even reacted and merely continued to their destinations.

“Is this…is this the Atlanta airport?” Blair asked.

“Have you been here before?”

“More times than I care to remember. You see that line of idiots to your left? Follow them, they’re headed to the security gate.”

My eyes locked into the snaking queue ahead—dozens of humans shuffled forward at a glacial pace. I shoved past the first cluster of travelers, ignoring their indignant shouts. A flimsy rope barrier herded them into neat little lines, and I leapt over it, trying to reach the front as quickly as possible.

Shocking pain erupted in my side, and I went down. A uniformed human stopped just in front of me, a sparking metal device raised in his hand. “Sir, you need to wait in line like everyone—”

I slammed my hoof into his rib cage, relishing the telltale sounds of cracked bone. The human went flying; his body landed in a twisted heap, entwined within the rope barrier.

“Holy shit, did he just tase you?” Blair asked.

“I’m fine,” I lied. The pain of the shock nearly had me doubled over. I gritted my teeth and kept moving. Alarms blared. More humans in matching uniforms tried to surround me on all sides, shouting and raising more of those electric weapons.

“Get out of my way!” With a deep breath, I shot fire from my hands, igniting three of them in front of me. But more seem to converge out of nowhere.

“You can’t fight them all at once. You’re already at the front of the line, so just go to the edge of the rope barrier and wait for them to call you forward.”

“This is ridiculous. You’re strapped to a bomb, and you want me to wait in the line?”

Blair’s lip curled. “You think I don’t know that? I’m the one sitting next to the goddamn ticking time bomb. Now get back in line!”

I bared my teeth at the uniform warriors—but did as instructed. Shoving a light-haired man with a yellow suitcase out of the way, I took my place at the front of the line. The security checkpoint was a maze of scanners and bends. A stern-faced woman brought her attention to me and waved me forward. When I approached, she placed a gray bin on a tray of metal rollers. “Subject S 52, you must remove your coat and all metal objects, including any weapons, and place them in the bin.”

My horns burned. “I will not surrender my armor.”

“Osid,” Blair warned.

“A king without his armor is no king at all. To surrender it would mean forfeiting my position.”

“You get it back at the other end of the line.”

“It’s a disgrace!”

“You know what else is a disgrace?” Blair asked. “Letting me blow up and die just as I was starting to like you. Take off your fucking armor!”

A low growl rumbled in my chest, yet I relented. I stripped off my armor piece by piece. All eyes in the room seemed to be staring at me unflinchingly as I placed my shame in the bin. The only consolation was Blair’s offhanded confession. She may have only said it to get me to comply, but I would wring the words from her again as soon as I got her out of this forsaken deathtrap.