Page 63 of I Punched an Alien and Now We’re in Couples Therapy

“Did you know I thought you were a goddess of death?”

“What?” I asked, taken aback.

His hand grew bolder, slipping completely beneath my shirt to press at the small of my back, bringing me closer to him. “When we first met. You pulled me from the river, and I thought I was back on Sankatul, drowning in the flood of Tynfo. You wrapped your arms around me, and I sank into you, longing for death if it meant you didn’t let go.”

My brow furrowed. “Osid, wh—”

Remorse clouded his strong features. “I should have told you that sooner.” A humorless laugh. “I should have done a lot of things differently. A queen is meant to be courted and admired, and I locked you away merely for my own selfish desire to keep you close.”

“Didn’t you lock me up because you thought I was working with Dory’s man?” I bit out.

“A convenient excuse. You left and took my sanity with you. I would have rationalized any justification to keep you.” He ran a hand over my cheek and let his palm settle on the back of my neck. And the pleasant heat of it caused gooseflesh to pebble my skin. “Why did you leave?”

I raised a brow at him, smiling in spite of myself as I replied, “Because you’re insane, Osid. I doubt your sanity was ever there before I came along.”

He chuckled. “I suppose I deserve that.”

“And more,” I quipped, unable to stop myself from ribbing him. It was a habit at this point. Each of us threw mental barbs and the occasional projectile weapon at each other until we were too angry to even speak. But this time was different. This time Osid kept smiling at me in that way that made my insides melt into goo. It was startling, this sudden change in our dynamic. I shifted to pull away.

“If I kissed you now, would you strike me?”

The question came in a soft murmur, holding a sense of insecurity no king should possess. My mouth went dry; I felt my face flush in a way it hadn’t since I was young and foolish. It must have been the cold messing with my head. Yet when he drew closer, I didn’t pull away. My hands fisted against his cloak as if they’d fall off if they lost his heat. “Osid—”

“Just once,” he pleaded, and god, the longing in his eyes.

This close, the smell of tobacco and amber engulfed me until I grew lightheaded. I leaned into him, wanting to finally taste those soft lips.

Trumpets blared, shocking us apart. Confetti burst from the ceiling. I noticed Osid looking past me, and I followed his gaze to see Rudolph happily flying circles around the tree, his bright red nose flashing like a strobe light at a rave. Soon after, the room dissolved into a sea of pixels, and we were left in a barren room once again.

“Trial four completed. Due to a medical emergency, trial five will be postponed until Subject S 52 is recovered.”

A team of Biwban flew in and snatched Osid out of my arms before either of us could react.

“Wait!” I screamed. I rolled to my feet and tried to chase after them, but in seconds, they had him strapped to that flying chair and whisked him out of the room. When the metal doors shut behind them, I slowed to a stop, and slumped to the ground. It was then I noticed the Tamagotchi singing against my chest. I pulled it out and inspected it, not bothering to hide my laugh at its reading.

“Three bars, huh?”

Chapter 26

Blair

That night I was laid up in yet another broom closet room with my knees pressed up to my chin. The paper-thin mattress was just as uncomfortable as the ones on the floors below, and I had no doubt that sleeping on it could make the ever-growing crick in my neck worse than it already was. Not that it mattered; sleep wasn’t going to come with my mind running a mile a minute.

Instead, I watched steam leak from a pipe along the ceiling and wondered if they’d left it that way to ensure I’d be woken up periodically through the night. I wouldn’t put it past them. Until Osid and I kissed, I’d be stuck in these shitty rooms. If only they hadn’t interrupted us in the last challenge, I probably would have been in that honeymoon suite now.

Memories surfaced of the king’s gentle plea. The molten hope in his eyes as he held me close. The heat of his body on mine when our lips were merely a breath apart. I sighed, letting my forehead sink into my knees. I wouldn’t probably have been in the honeymoon suite now; I would’ve been.

This whole thing was so stupid. I shouldn’t have feelings for a man who was red flags incarnate. The bastard locked me in a cage, chained me to a dinosaur, and was just generally a fucking asshole!

An asshole I’d shot and punched, among other things. All right, so maybe I wasn’t the greenest flag either, but two wrongs didn’t make a right. Only one person in a relationship was allowed to be crazy. That was why I always went after weaker, more submissive men. The kind who just rolled with it to avoid a fight. That was why it worked. I’d get my way, and they got peace of mind. I didn’t need someone who would fight fire with fire; I wanted a doormat.

I’d never survive a relationship with a man like Osid. He was no doormat; he was a king. We’d last a week, tops, before one of us wound up dead or maimed. Even when things started off good, I always found a way to chase my partners off. Hell, the longest relationship I had ended in slashed tires and a burning piñata filled with tapes of me fucking my ex’s dad in our bed.

Lucas was so traumatized he ended up back in the suburbs, married to a plain Jane who dragged him to church each Sunday and kept his balls in a tasteful urn by the door.

Osid might think he wanted me, but that was because the fool didn’t know any better.

I jumped as the steam pipe let out another angry hiss. The only thing I knew for sure was that I wanted to make these stupid aliens pay for putting me in this position in the first place. Who were they to try to control my love life? If they had just listened in the first place and brought in a replacement like Subject B like I’d asked, I wouldn’t be stuck in a broom closet ruminating over the soft eyes of the man I was supposed to hate. They could have dropped Osid in the female enclosure center and let him pick out some other girl who would jump at the chance to rule over some alien kingdom.