Page 40 of I Punched an Alien and Now We’re in Couples Therapy

The whisper slapped me back to reality, where a king was still kneeling between my aching thighs.

The burning need in his gaze only sank me further into the fantasy. How he’d whisper and beg through hungry groans as that ribbed tongue licked my clit, mouth open and greedy, my free hand holding him in place by those jagged horns.

That’s right, Your Majesty, I nearly said aloud. Eat this pussy.

“Stop fighting me and be my queen, Blair.”

I pushed away from him. “You and your stipulations.”

Osid sat back on his heels. The slow grin sent a shiver down my spine. “You’d have me without them?”

“We’ve already established you can’t handle a fling.”

Immediately the hold on my body turned possessive. His voice deepened to a rasp that would have almost been deceptively calm if it weren’t for the flickering sparks at the end of his long tail. “We are not a fling.”

“See, there you go again.”

“A ceasefire,” he said when I began to pull away.

“…I’m listening.”

Chapter 19

Intern 104 Log: Monsoon 60, Year 10, Waffles

“SHE’S GOT A KNIFE!” I hurled myself toward Subject 12, only to be yanked back by my tail feathers.

Agent Cupid shoved my head down behind the hedges. His sharp green eyes never left the mated pair. “Take out your camera and start recording. Be as silent as you can and don’t interrupt them.”

The fire’s constant low roar was interrupted with an angry hiss as waterfalls shot out from the emergency pipes. I looked up to the plume of dark smoke blotting out the sky.

“I’m aware of the fire, Intern 104. Camera, now!”

“Look, Agent, I’m not here to tell you how to do your job, but that over there”—I pointed to where Subject 12 had a knife over her would-be mate’s heart—“that does not look like any mating habits we should be recording, it looks like we need the sleep darts. Again.”

Electric-blue feathers flapped in front of my face. “That’s because you have no vision! Record!”

Bide your time, 104. All will pay in the end.

I pulled out my camera and steadied it on the pair.

Agent Cupid pulled out a microphone and kept his voice low. “Behind me is the mated pair Subject 12 and S 52. Subject S 52 is the leader of the Pink Basin settlement and has held the position since the Sankado males’ release on this planet ten years prior. We have no way of knowing if he held a similar title before his rescue. What we do know is the life of a dominant Sankado male is not one of ease. Fighting off rival clans is a tiring business, but wooing a disinterested female is another challenge altogether.”

The female’s face contorted into a sneer, and I zoomed the camera in on the blade clenched in her fist. Blood pooled around its tip where it met the male’s chest. I bit my cheek, wondering if I should abandon my orders in favor of ensuring the male did not come to harm, yet Agent Cupid was the only one at the BCI who had seen human and Sankado mating habits up close. Maybe blood sport was simply the way these mammals got to it.

“After several days of displaying his fitness by fending off competitors and engaging the female in acts of conversation, the male is ready to try his luck.”

There was a shocking lack of dancing on the male’s part for him to move on to mating so quickly. At no point during his time at The Crucible did Subject S 52 even attempt to put together any kind of choreography so she could ascertain his agility. Nor did he provide a nest for her to lay. I was honestly stunned a human female would put up with such a lackluster courtship. Yet life finds a way…

Slowly, Agent Cupid crept closer to the pair and motioned for me to follow. “He has offered his potential mate a weapon to distract her long enough for the second phase of his courtship.”

The weapon in question sank deeper into the male’s chest as he drew closer to inspect her body.

“Take note of the male’s tail,” Agent Cupid said. The camera zoomed in on the long appendage. Subject S 52 kept it low to the ground as it swayed back and forth. A nearly invisible mist rose from the fire escape valves that lined the top of the tail. The scent of tobacco and something else I couldn’t place interrupted the smell of burning in the building around us. “Sankado males have pheromone glands at the mouth of their tail, each with their own individual scent. The heat stored in the male’s fire sacks can be used to release a vapor, permeating his scent through the air. An act most Sankado females find irresistible.”

Subject 12’s head tilted back as her suitor traced his lips along her throat. Her grip on the knife lessened, and the male seized the opportunity to drag her body closer to his.

“He draws her closer, enveloping her fully into his mist. These vapors serve a dual purpose. Not only do these pheromones encourage the female to enter estrus, but the scent also seeps into the female’s clothing and hair—”