Page 13 of I Punched an Alien and Now We’re in Couples Therapy

“King Osid, are you listening to me?” Jivorn reached over and shook me from my thoughts.

Blair took one look at Jivorn, then launched into a fit, yelling angrily at him in words only she understood. She snatched a dovac fruit from a passing tree and hurled it at him. It bounced off his armor with a loud clang and fell into the dirt.

“You see?” he cried. “It’s a wild animal. You’re lucky it didn’t slice you open in the battle.”

“Nonsense, she fought at my side. Even spat acid on the face of a warrior about to take my head.”

His face turned ashen. “It can spit acid?”

“Are you sure she didn’t just vomit from fear?” Hakri chuckled. “It looked more like she was screaming than fighting.”

Why was this little shit trying my patience today? I should demote him to a stable boy. “No, I’m positive it was acid.”

The reins in Jivorn’s hands could be crushed into diamonds with how tight his grip was. “If that’s true, then all the more reason to get rid of it before you get attached. If it’s a pet you want, then I’m sure we can send the scouts out to find something smaller and fluffy.”

His aversion to her shouldn’t bother me, and it didn’t. But his less-than-savory reaction clearly grated on the woman. Her body tensed up anytime he came near, and sharp eyes analyzed every movement he made. I hooked a finger into the loop of her belt and pulled her closer until her back was flush with my front.

Without sparing me so much as a glance, she readjusted herself farther up on the saddle and continued shooting glares at my advisor.

My nails scratched against the seam of the rein as I beat down the urge to drag her to me again. That ache in my horns was back, and if Hakri didn’t stop casting glances at my lucky charm, I’d tear off his horns and present them to her as a tankard before I bent her over and fucked her in front of him. My cock jumped at the idea, and I craned my neck skyward to avoid focusing on the way her plump ass filled out the saddle.

Deep breaths, deep breaths.

“I think we should—”

I cut Jivorn off with a wave of my hand. “I think you should stop bothering me with these asinine comments and tell me why you chose to divide our war party to play fire ranger instead of killing the raiders like I ordered you to.”

His mouth snapped shut, but I wasn’t done.

“Better yet, answer this riddle for me. The only men who knew we planned on taking the dovac route to Riverbend were you, me, and the men we took with us. And they only found out this morning just before we set off, so how is it that a small band of raiders led by one lone beast tamer managed to find out which path we were taking and fill it with BBs?”

Jivorn’s spine snapped straight. “My king, recovering you took priority, and if we lost too much of the grove, all the lumber we need to maintain the fences would be gone.”

“Don’t bullshit me,” I snapped. “We’re in the middle of the rainy season. The only part of the grove that went up in flames is where they planted the bombs. Even if it weren’t going to storm again tonight, the ground is far too wet for me to buy that excuse.”

“Apologies, my liege, I mucked up.”

“I don’t want your apology, I want action. There’s no way the raiders guessed our route on their own. Ride ahead and order your scouts to bring me the tongue of whoever’s responsible for revealing our location.”

Jivorn kicked his mount and took off without another word. Hakri waited until he was out of earshot before saying, “Please try not to be too hard on him, sire. We’re all a little fried after the back-to-back invasions we’ve been fending off lately.”

His words held truth in them. As much as I hated to admit it, even I was at my wit’s end. For the past few years, we’d been able to hold Thornward with little bother, aside from the Rumbling each year. Yet for whatever reason, warrior bands from all around had been striking at us almost constantly over the past week. Our scouts had reported sightings of the first herds of titanstalks mere days away, which meant this year’s Rumbling wasn’t far behind.

Harvesters had to be escorted to and from the farmlands lest they be killed, and with our warriors stretched so thin, we could only send out so many men to accompany them. The extra precautions ate away at our time, and with the stampeding herds on the horizon, and a third of our crop still in the fields, we were running out of it fast.

“You’re right,” I said. “I’m being unkind.”

Shock colored Hakri’s face, but I couldn’t give less of a fuck because Blair’s eyes were still fixated on Jivorn as he rode off into the sunset. Sun glinted off shining armor as his long red hair billowed in the wind.

Majestic bastard.

“I’ll kill him,” I vowed.

“WHAT?”

Chapter 8

Blair