Page 9 of Session 25

“Well, shit. I’ll give you some space.” Marcel left me to handle my hygiene.

Twenty minutes later, I was standing in my bedroom wrapped in my towel and phone in my hand. I needed an emergency appointment with Rae before I lost my mind. Right about now, she might be the only one who could bring me down from a hundred. I was livid, and the more Marcel pushed for us to be in each other's space, the more I saw red.

Koi: Hey Rae, I know it’s very last minute. You know I wouldn’t ask for this if I didn’t really need it. And even after my outburst yesterday, I realized that you’re more important to me than I liked to think. If by any chance can we set up just a brief call within the next few days, I’d really appreciate it.

Thank you.

I sent the email, closed out of the app, and allowed a deep sigh to escape my lips. I kept thinking, ‘if it wasn’t one thing, it was another.’

“Look, I know you ain’t feeling me, but if you need me to take you to, ya’ moms, I will. If you want me to fall back, I’ll give you some space today.”

The fact that Marcel really thought talking through this last infidelity was gonna work was sending me over the edge. He swore he was gonna charm his way back in, and that was not happening by a long shot.

“Marcel, just go. Whatever bitch you been fucking, continue to do so because when it’s my turn, trust I’m going to have the next nigga digging in my back and eating this pussy as if it was his favorite dessert.” With my back to him, I sashayed to my walk-in closet, pulled it open, and disappeared. The sound of his footsteps was enough to let me know I had struck a nerve.

“Good,” I mumbled.

I pulled out of my driveway, hair pushed back in a slick style, oversized sunglasses on my face, and a tracksuit. The day had already started off shitty, and the headache I'd been trying to get rid of was still lingering, causing me to squint my eyes more than I needed.

Pissed off, I drove in silence to Patterson Houses, parked, and shook off the annoyance I could feel creeping in.

“Hey,” Sicily tapped on my passenger window. “Belinda up at the house, so prepare yourself.” Glad she had warned me, I already knew the scene was gonna be a lot to take in, but now with Belinda there, I had to think about all the dramatics she would pull out her ass.

“What happened for real though?” My lips twisted.

“Apparently her ass was pregnant, gave birth, and started bleeding out, so they performed surgery on her and shit went left.”

“Pregnant? We saw her not too long ago, right?” The way Rika moved, I had to remember if she showed any signs of being pregnant when I last saw her, but in all honesty, I couldn’t care less about her, so I hardly paid her any mind, anyway.

“Chile, I don’t know. She ain’t one of my favorite people, so hey, I wouldn’t have looked at her long enough to notice.” It was sad how our first cousin was fighting for her life, and neither of us felt any type of sadness. But Rika’s ass brought that on herself.

She stole from us, had chicks fight us, and was just downright nasty. The first time she displayed the level of jealousy and disgust she felt toward us was when we were in our early teens.

“Rika, why would you call me over here to come get you and you're nowhere to be found?” I yelled into the phone. This damn girl had made me leave my summer youth job early because she claimed she was in some sort of danger.

I walked through the Millbrook Houses, weary. Still no Rika in sight, I spotted a small group of teenage girls, grilling me. Not one to be scared, I cut my eyes in their direction, turned my head, and that’s when all hell broke loose.

I didn’t know which hoe hit me, but I sure felt the fist land on my right temple. I dropped my bag, throwing up my hands and swinging at whichever chick came close enough. Outnumbered and outweighed at the time, I fought until I ended up on the ground, balled up in a fetal position.

“Next time you fuck with my man, I’m gonna kill you, Rika.” Livid, I lay motionless for a few minutes. Rika had set me up to get jumped by a bitch and her crew because she wanted to pop pussy at thirteen years old.

“You coming up or just gonna stay out here? No one will be mad if you don’t. They know you don’t fuck with her anyway.” Sicily had pulled me from my thoughts.

“Yea. At the end of the day, Belinda is my dawg, so I’m here for her, not her damn daughter.” I hopped out of my car, nodded to Maria, the icy lady on the corner who had been serving us coco, cherry, mango icy’s since I was a kid.

“I hear you, and if you need to get a drink, I got you covered. I got a bottle in my room,” Sicily chuckled. She was more of a smoker, but on occasions, Sicily would have a drink with me.

“After the lingering headache from yesterday, I doubt I’ll be drinking today.” I don’t know who I was kidding; if I stayed in this house longer than thirty minutes, I was definitely going to have a drink.

“Well, whatever works for you.”

By the time I made it to the apartment, I was over everything. I could hear the loud chatter coming through the steel door before placing my hand on the knob. Belinda was being dramatic, and given the circumstances, I knew that’s why my mother probably entertained it, but today, I didn’t have the mental capacity to put up with the fake shit or the drama.

“Oh, girl, it’s about time you got here.” Belinda ran straight into my chest as I stood by the entrance of the apartment. “Your cousin, oh lawd your cousin.” She threw her hands up as if this were the last supper and she had to make a scene. “She got a baby, and they got her with tubes and machines.” I didn’t want to dismiss her, but she was doing too much.

My eyes met my mother's across the room as I patted Belinda on her back. “It’s gonna be aight." As the words left my mouth, I cringed. Rika was receiving all of her fucked up karma, and I could care less about the outcome at the moment. Once a dirty bitch, always a dirty bitch in my eyes. The only thing that I was stuck on was the fact that God allowed her to have a child and not me. “The baby, is he or she?”

“He’s good. Stacey was there when he was born. The father-” her voice trailed off as the front door opened and closed.