Page 29 of Summer Brew

Very flat.

Like I’m facing the gallows.

Greylin gives me a knowing look, but I can’t hold her gaze for very long. I know I’m being ridiculous.

I know Keaton was right.

I’m not allowing my friends to support me. I’m holding on too damn tightly, all because of fear. Knowing doesn’t make it any easier to change.

“I’ll be honest with you,” Mayer’s words feel like a warning even though I’ve never known her to not be honest, “that answer did not inspire a lot of confidence in me about how you’re doing right now.”

A giggle bubbles out of me which sounds far more unhinged than I’d like it to.

“Confidence is in short supply at the moment,” I admit.

“What’s not to be confident about?” Meadow’s question is a challenge. When I open my mouth to answer, she shoots me a look and I snap it shut again. “The beer is chilled. You’ve put the time into it and you’ve teamed up with someone who has more experience and knowledge.” Her eyebrow arches while her eyes glow with sincerity, “Using that knowledge and experience is not a reflection of your own ability currently or in the future.”

I scoff, “You know you sound like a self-help book right now, don’t you?”

“I think she’s trying to say she’s proud of you,” Mayer cuts in.

Warmth blooms in my chest at her words. Their smiles tell me everything and the feeling spreads.

“Who else is coming?” I hear the sly tone in Greylin’s question and shoot her a look.

Still, I can’t hide my smile.

“Since I know you’re really asking if Keaton is coming, I’ll just go straight to it and confirm that he will be here. Gary is coming too,” my voice is threaded with worry, but I try to push the feeling aside. I add, “Keaton already gave me some of his beer as well, since Gary is coming and he can’t drink mine.”

“Oh,” Meadow chirps, “I want to try his too.” Something shifts on her face before she looks at me again. “Is that okay? I mean, this is your tasting.”

I wave my hand dismissively. “I don’t mind at all. You should try it.”

“Are you nervous because of the tasting or because Gary and Keaton will be in the same room?”

“Mayer,” Meadow whines, “you don’t have to be so blunt about it.”

Mayer just rolls her eyes. She definitely doesn’t pull back her words. I don’t expect her to.

“I’m just not sure how to act with them both in the same room,” I admit. “It’s going to be awkward.”

“Especially when he can’t touch you and be affectionate,” Greylin teases me with a huge grin on her face and her eyebrows wiggling comically.

I’m not surprised that she’s teasing me. Keaton doesn’t hide his affection for me when he’s around my friends. Not anymore. And he definitely doesn’t hold himself back when we’re alone.

But in front of Gary? I don’t know what to do.

Is he going to pretend I don’t exist? Is he going to use helping me to deflect?

I’m not even sure which would be worse at this point. The only thing I haven’t considered, or allowed myself to even imagine, is him wanting to put it all out there and for us to be ourselves without keeping it a secret.

I already know it isn’t going to happen.

Before I can agonize over what might be, strong arms wrap around me and I levitate off the ground for a moment, the miracle of it all fueled by sheer terror. I spin around and look up to find whiskey-colored eyes staring down at me and filled with amusement.

He holds up a small cooler and wiggles it slightly. Very slightly; but enough.

“I wanted to make sure I was here early enough to help get any last-minute things done and to get these in the fridge.” While talking, he smiles at my friends, greeting them with a warmth that only makes me love him more.