Page 97 of Beauty

Two days later, I wonder if we’re ever going to gethome.

Roan finally calls a halt to the march. Since we left thevillage, we spent long hours trudging through forests with little rest.

And I’ve never felt better physically. Emotionally it’sanother story.

“I’ll go set up.” Shim gives me a smile. He’s eager to getthe night started, but Shim is thinking about the sex and not the forlorn lookthat I keep seeing on Bron’s face.

She’s exhausted. She’s confused. And there is a core sadnessthat is killing my soul. The last two nights she didn’t even fight us. She cameto the bed we made and offered herself up. She made love with us, shared herblood and her body. She submitted in the loveliest of ways.

And it isn’t enough because every time I offer her the truebond, she retreats. I look over and she stands by a huge tree, her back leaningagainst it. She holds herself apart from the group. She hasn’t simply retreatedfrom the true bond. She retreated from everyone. Bronwyn answers all questionsin two or three words. She doesn’t even look at Gillian, a fact that seems toadd to my sister’s misery.

If I didn’t need Roan, I might kill him. Except I overheardRoan and his lieutenant talking the night before and I watched them all day.Their every move is about Gillian’s safety and comfort. Their talk the nightbefore was a long, slow dialogue about how to tempt Gillian into giving them achance.

I understand Roan and Harry. Damn it.

“You’re hungry?” She won’t let me carry her through theforests. She won’t let me shield her. At least she accepts that I can feed her.

She gives him a wan smile. “I am.”

I nod and move away, walking up to Roan. We’re running outof supplies. We’re running out of time. And every village we stop in, my wifeinsists on riling up the inhabitants.

And it’s fairly easy since the villages are empty of guards.They’re all patrolling around Aoibhneas now, a phalanx I’m not sure we canbreak through without some loss of life.

Roan looks up from his tablet. “Can I help you, YourHighness?”

“You can tell me when we’ll be able to get my wife home. TheSeelie princes are due here any day now. You know that they’re just waiting fora big enough hole in the wall to come through with an army.”

“I’m doing my best.”

The words come out with Roan’s clipped efficiency, butsomething about the way he says it makes me suspicious. “Tell me why we’removing the way we’re moving. Aoibhneas is in the opposite direction.”

Roan’s eyebrow rises and his mouth turns down. “Every timewe attempt to move to Aoibhneas, we get cut off by the guard. We talked aboutthis last night. We’ve moved from village to village in an unorthodox path inorder to deceive the guard as to where we are going.”

There’s a major flaw in the mercenary’s logic. “We’re notdeceiving anyone since you allow my wife to be put on display. She’s givingspeeches. She’s making herself a target.”

“She’s building her brothers an army.” Roan looks over towhere Bron stands. “She needs to feel like she’s a part of this. Can you notunderstand that?”

“He’s right. You can’t understand.” Duffy takes a place atmy side. “You don’t know what it means to want to fight and not be able to. Iknow I’ve played around, but we all know I wouldn’t be able to do anything atall on the battlefield except let warriors trip over me.”

My brother’s sorrow makes my heart clench. I never meant tomake Duffy feel this way. And I certainly never meant for… I’m not going tothink about that moment in anything but the broadest of terms. “You saved me,Duff.”

“By throwing my body in front of a cloud.”

Gillian gets to her knees in front of Duffy. “You saved Lachwith more than your body.”

Gillian’s words are a bit shaky. I’m rather glad to see it.She’s as shut down as Bronwyn.

Duffy flushes and looks toward the ground. “It pretty muchfelt like me body.”

“It wasn’t your body that made you leap in front of thatcloud. It was your strong, brave heart,” his sister insists.

Duffy shakes his head. “I ain’t brave, Gilly. Not for asecond.”

She puts her hand out, lifting his face up to hers. “How canyou say that?”

“Because I ain’t never said the thing I wanted to say,”Duffy admits. “I won’t say them. I’m small and insignificant. I know how Bronfeels. She wants to fight but no one will let her. They’ll pat her on the headand tell her she’s doing fine. They might let someone train her so’s shedoesn’t complain too much, but when it comes down to it, she’s not going to beallowed to fight.”

The words made my gut clench. “Damn it, Duffy. It’s not thesame. And I was trying to protect you. Can’t you understand that? I didn’t wantyou to die.”