Page 14 of Catcher

But I remember waking up.

Waking was violent, like being dragged from a black river. My lungs burned, my chest was tight, and my hands searched for something solid. In that moment, I had no idea where the fuck I was. My heart was pounding so hard, trying to break out of my ribcage. Sweat cooled on my skin, chilling me as the nightmare clung to me.

Her scream.

Fuck.

It had still been there, bouncing around inside my skull.

I jolted awake from the nightmare, sitting up hard, elbows braced on my knees, hands hanging loose between them. My fingers twitched like they didn’t belong to me. My breathing was rough and uneven, as if I’d run miles instead of just lying in bed. I remember dragging in a breath, trying to ground myself and shake the remnants of the nightmare loose.

And then, I remember when something shifted.

It was subtle.

I’d inhaled again, slower. My brow furrowed as I registered the difference. There was a scent, soft and sweet, not mine. Not the usual mix of soap, leather, and whiskey clinging to everything I own.

It had been lighter.

Warmer.

Feminine.

And my spine had gone rigid.

Fragments hit me, jagged and out of order, slamming into my head without warning. Blonde curls, blue eyes, a soft gasp. Warm skin under my hands.

My fingers flex now just remembering it.

“Fuck…” I mutter, my voice low and rough, as if dragged through broken glass.

Flashbacks hit me hard and quick—her body beneath me, how she’d felt wrapped around me, and the way she said my name made it seem like it mattered.

My stomach turns now just thinking about it.

Because I hadn’t remembered any of that when she was standing right in front of me.

I didn’t remember the way I touched her.

I didn’t remember the way she responded.

I didn’t remember the way she looked at me as if I was something worth wanting.

But my body knew.

And instead of stopping, instead of trying to understand why the hell she was in my room, why she looked at me like that, I’d gone straight for the jugular.

Accused her.

Cut her down.

Told her she didn’t exist to me.

My jaw clenches so tight it aches. “Fuck.” I sigh, the word barely making it past my lips.

Because now I know…

I know exactly what happened.