Page 21 of Bitterness of Spirit

“I must return now; my friend is surely missing me,” Elizabeth said.

“May I accompany you to the Parsonage?” the colonel offered.

“It is not necessary, but I thank you for your kindness, sir. I hope to meet again soon,” she answered and noticed a trace of relief on Anne’s face.

“I believe Aunt Catherine has returned home,” Darcy informed them, glancing at the main gate.

“We should leave now; good day, Miss Bennet,” Anne said in haste, walking towards the house. Darcy followed her immediately while the colonel seemed reluctant to depart. He bowed to Elizabeth one more time and finally left.

When Elizabeth entered the house, she had to answer both Mr. and Mrs. Collins’s worried questions. She explained she took a stroll around the house, but Mr. Collins expressed his concern about the notion of her wandering around by herself, without anyone knowing her whereabouts, in case some danger might occur.

“I briefly met Mr. Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam; they just arrived.” She quickly changed the subject, and Mr. Collins was instantly on the hook.

“Did they? Oh, what lovely news! I am sure Lady Catherine will be happy. But she did not expect them for another day or so. Oh, I wonder if it is proper to arrive a day early. But I am sure Mr. Darcy knows what propriety demands. He must be eager to visit Rosings again, just as Lady Catherine said. I hope we shall meet them. I am sure Mr. Darcy will remember me from Netherfield.”

“My dear, so much excitement is not good for you. Will you not have a glass of wine and rest a little?” Charlotte tried to tempt him.

“My dear, your care is praiseworthy, but I assure you I am perfectly fine. I must prepare myself in case the gentlemen call, although it is very unlikely to happen today. Still, one cannot be too cautious in matters of such importance. Will you excuse me now?”

Until dinnertime, Mr. Collins was scarcely seen, but his distress was unnecessary as no call or other sign came from Rosings. Elizabeth amused herself by telling Charlotte of the pleasant Colonel Fitzwilliam as she recollected Mr. Darcy’s aloof manners, wondering how two cousins could be so different.

“Dear Lizzy, what of siblings being so different? Just remember Mr. Bingley and his sisters.”

“Charlotte, I struggle to remember Mr. Bingley as little as possible—and his sisters even less. They were mean and ridiculously pretentious while he was weak and fearful, ruining his happiness by bowing to the demands of others.”

“Lizzy, I know you blame Mr. Bingley and his sisters, but please keep in mind what I have told you several times: he might have left because he was uncertain of Jane’s feelings.”

“If one is uncertain, one should seek proof instead of excuses to run away. And I blame his friend Mr. Darcy too.”

“Oh come now, you are too harsh on Mr. Darcy. You always have been, my dear. I am not sure why you have this tendency to believe the worst about the gentleman.”

Elizabeth laughed. “Perhaps because he has a tendency to show us the worst about himself. I am curious to know how he behaves among his relatives.”

“We might have a chance to witness it if Lady Catherine will bear our company again. I hope the gentlemen will at least call on us. Poor Mr. Collins will not be able to sleep until then,” Charlotte declared with a smile.

***

Darcy looked at his aunt and cousins as they spoke across the dinner table, but he had no interest in their conversation. Since the moment he saw Elizabeth again, he had little interest in anything else. His entire being was stirred by the sensations he had struggled for months to forget. His brief success had vanished in a heartbeat. The thought that she lived nearby was overwhelming, and he dreaded the nighttime when she would again torture his rest, his mind, his soul. No, she was not responsible for this—but himself, his weakness, his lack of control, his failure to keep unreasonable desires under good regulation.

“Miss Bennet appears to be very pleasant company,” he heard the colonel say. Yes, he imagined his cousin would find Elizabeth pleasant company, just as he was certain she would be partial to Richard with his amiable manners and easy conversation. So unlike him—everybody said that.

He wondered what she thought of him now that they had met again. She obviously enjoyed his special attention during their short acquaintance. She must have noticed that he preferred her over any other person. Did she regret his departure from Netherfield? Had she some expectations and hopes that he dashed? He knew he could offer her nothing but a remote friendship, just as he knew that was too little for either of them.

“She is,” he found himself responding then quickly adjusted his words under the curious glare of his aunt. “I met both Miss Bennet and Mrs. Collins in Hertfordshire, and I enjoyed their presence on several occasions. Mr. Collins—not so much. I hope his manners have changed in the last four months.”

“I see little fault in Mr. Collins’s manners,” Lady Catherine interrupted him. “A clergyman is meant neither to be pleasant company nor to entertain people.”

Darcy wisely chose his response. “I may have been in error, having little time to know him. Perhaps we should invite him and his party for dinner.”

“That is an excellent idea,” the colonel supported him. “You may then take your time understanding Mr. Collins’s character while I employ my time in a more shallow way, enjoying the pleasant company of the ladies. I hope they play and sing.”

“Would the day after tomorrow be acceptable, Aunt?” Darcy asked with an unusual lightness in his voice.

Lady Catherine was taken aback. “Yes, if you think you can stand them all at once. Miss Bennet is a lady with peculiar opinions and too much stubbornness in expressing them. She easily becomes tiresome or impertinent. Mrs. Collins is always steady and restrained as a proper lady should be. Miss Lucas looks lost most of the time. I would barely notice if she were missing.”

“Excellent,” the colonel exclaimed. “Should we call on them tomorrow?”

Darcy resisted expressing his approval. “We shall see. I might have some business to take care of tomorrow. My plans are not yet fixed.”