Page 265 of Saving Forever with the Hockey Captain

My thumb hovers over his name.

Then slowly lowers.

No. Not this way. Not over the phone.

After everything we've shared...

After everything we've lost...

He deserves more than a call.

He deserves my eyes. My voice. My whole heart.

I put the phone back down, start the engine, and keep driving.

That night, I stop at a small roadside motel.

Nothing fancy.

Just clean sheets and a place to sleep.

As I unpack my overnight bag, something catches my eye.

Jamie's Frostholm hoodie.

I'd borrowed it months ago during one chilly evening on his porch.

Somehow it never made its way back into his closet.

I slip it over my head. The sleeves are still a little too long. It doesn't smell like him anymore.

Time and washing have seen to that.

But somehow...It still feels like coming home.

For the first time in weeks, I sleep without waking every hour.

***

Drive - Day three

The final morning begins before sunrise.

Coffee.

Gas station breakfast.

Another full tank.

Another stretch of highway.

Somewhere during those last hundreds of miles...

The fear changes, not because it disappears, but because it finally loses the argument.

I stop rehearsing speeches, stop imagining every possible reaction, stop trying to predict an ending I have no control over.

I can't decide what Jamie will say.