Page 154 of Saving Forever with the Hockey Captain

"Do you get any say?"

"Very little."

"Could be anywhere, Seattle. Chicago. Boston.Who knows?"

"And Jamie?"

I look down at my hands. "He'll still be here."

The words hurt more than I expect. "He'll have hockey, the team, this town."

I laugh quietly. "And I'll pack up another apartment and start over somewhere else."

Keisha reaches across the space between us and gently squeezes my hand.

"Is that what scares you?"

I don't even have to think. "I'm not afraid that I'm falling in love with him."

The admission hangs quietly between us. "I'm afraid," I swallow. "…of what happens when I have to leave."

My eyes sting unexpectedly. "I keep telling myself this was always temporary."

"A rotation, a few months, one assignment. But somewhere along the way, I glance around my apartment, it stopped feeling temporary."

Keisha nods. "I thought it might."

"And Jamie?" I smile sadly. "He has no idea."

"Have you told him any of this?"

I shake my head.

"Why?"

"Because..." I look toward the window, watching snow settle on the railing outside.

"...I'm his therapist. And in a few weeks..."

My voice grows quieter.

"...I'll just be another person who walks out of his life."

Keisha doesn't rush to fill the silence. She simply moves closer until our shoulders touch.

"You know what I think?" I smile faintly.

"I have a feeling you're going to tell me anyway."

She laughs softly. "I think..." She reaches over and squeezes my hand one more time. "...that for someone who's spent her whole life helping other people find the courage to heal..."

She smiles. "...you're being awfully hard on your own heart."

For the first time all evening, I don't have an answer. I simply lean my head against her shoulder, and let myself be quiet.

***

The next morning arrives wrapped in sunshine instead of snow. Spring is finally beginning to win. We wander through downtown with hot chocolate in our hands, stopping every few storefronts because Keisha wants to peek inside another shop. The bakery smells exactly the way I promised.