Page 138 of Saving Forever with the Hockey Captain

Finally..."Yes." The word barely rises above a whisper.

She waits, not pushing, just giving me room to hear myself.

One more question. "Do you think about him when he isn't there?"

I let out a slow breath.

More than I should.

The thought comes immediately. The words take longer.

"...Yes."

I look down at my bowl of soup. "It's ridiculous."

"No."

"It is." I laugh without much humor. “I catch myself wondering whether he's remembered to stretch. I hear a hockey score and wonder if he's watching. I walked past a sporting goods store yesterday and almost bought him one of those ridiculous reusable ice packs because the one he uses is practically falling apart."

I close my eyes. "I didn't buy it."

Keisha smiles.

"I know."

"I stood there for five minutes."

"I figured."

"I actually argued with myself."

"I can imagine."

"'He's your patient, Annette.'"

"'You don't buy your patient an ice pack.'"

She laughs. "So, I didn't."

"What did you buy?"

"A candle." She raises an eyebrow.

"For me."

"Good."

"It smells like cedar."

"Clever."

"I figured if I couldn't fix my feelings..." I smile to myself. "...at least my apartment could smell nice."

Keisha laughs until she has to wipe tears from the corners of her eyes. "Oh, sweetheart."

"I know."

"No." She shakes her head. "You really don't."