Page 98 of Derivation

“Sarai, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it the way it came across. It was more that we haven’t actually talked about what comes after our first date. That’s all I meant.”

“I thought a second date would come next,” she said before she put the spoon into her mouth. “Given that we’ve both decided to take a risk here, I didn’t think it would be over after the first date.”

“And it’s not,” Gabi replied. “I just got all tongue-tied when Arlowe said that thing about us dating, and I tried to protect myself.”

“From me?”

“From everything. Sarai, tonight was amazing, but it was also a mess, and that’s my fault.”

“What are you talking about?”

Sarai left the spoon in the ice cream, leaned back, and waited again.

“The whole dinner cruise idea – it was stupid. We kept getting interrupted. When I thought we were about to kiss, those lame influencers showed up. Then, as we were walking around, I felt like we’d be having a good conversation, but someone else would interrupt shortly after. There was that couple that stopped you right when you were talking about that horrible argument you had with your mom. They wanted you to take their picture.”

“I didn’t mind, Gabs.”

“I know. But the food was only okay, and it was nice, eating on the top deck, but I could tell that you were cold. I was wearing that damn backpack all night, lugging it around like a mom with a toddler instead of a woman on a first date, and I didn’t even think to pull out the blanket that I brought. I felt like I should’ve just brought you to a normal restaurant. We could’ve had much better food and a private conversation without all the interruptions.”

“You don’t think that the waiter would’ve interrupted a few times, or the fact that the restaurant was filled with people wouldn’t have made it feel less private somehow?”

“It still would’ve been better, so I was disappointed in myself the whole way home. Then, Arlowe was sitting there, where we were going to be snuggled up on the sofa, watching a movie, and she was asking–”

“Babe, are you still at a five, or did you maybe go a bit higher than that at some point and not tell me?” Sarai asked.

“I wanted tonight to be perfect, Sarai.”

“It was,” she replied, leaning forward. Then, she dipped the spoon in a little deeper, pulled it out, and turned it around. “I don’t think we’re at the feeding each other point just yet, but we can at least share a spoon.”

Gabi took it from her and ate her ice cream.

“Gabs, do you know what I’ll remember from tonight?”

“No. What?”

Gabi put the spoon back in the ice cream.

“That you looked beautiful. That we were both really nervous.” She chuckled. “That you booked this whole thing just for me. Well, for us. It was just so sweet, Gabi. You took something from our past that we couldn’t do then and can’t exactly do now, because there are no canal cruises here, and you made it something I’ll never forget. I don’t care about the interruptions or that the chicken had a weird aftertaste.” She laughed a little. “I was there with you. I got to hold you. Even if it was only for a second, I got to do it, and I’ve never been able to hold you before.”

“Really?” Gabi asked, looking hopeful. “It was okay?”

“Gabi, yes. It wasn’t perfect, but nothing ever is. And I wasn’t upset at all about some silly influencers or the couple asking me to take a picture and interrupting me telling you a story because I thought… Well, I thought we were dating, so I would get another chance to tell it later. I know it’s just one date, and had we just met and decided to go out, I wouldn’t have thought that, probably, but we’ve been dancing around this at least since you moved in, and it felt like we were both there.”

“We are both there,” Gabi said. “I was worried that if I said that we were dating, you’d end up saying that it was just a first date at the same time because you were worried about it to begin with, so then, I’d look like an idiot who was way ahead of you in this thing. It would’ve been awkward, and–”

“And you ended up making it awkward anyway?”

“Yes, that,” Gabi said with a laugh and took the spoon to grab another bite of the ice cream.

“Here’s what I’m thinking.” Sarai borrowed the spoon from Gabi when she was done and took her own bite. “We kicked Arlowe and Enya out of the living room. We could at least use it. Don’t you think?”

“Can we bring the ice cream and keep sharing a spoon?” Gabi asked.

“We can, yes.”

“And can we snuggle up on the couch?”

“Yes, we can do that.” Sarai smiled at her and stuffed the spoon back into the container. “But…”