Page 131 of Derivation

CHAPTER 35

After another month of ridiculously hard work, Gabi was exhausted but really happy. Her day job was going well, despite the fact that she had been more passionate about her essentially unpaid side hustle. She had a girlfriend whom she got to spend every night with, and she had friends whom she really cared about. It turned out that living with Sarai right off the bat hadn’t been a bad thing at all. Arlowe and Enya still teased them – well, Arlowe did that more than Enya – but it was just that, teasing. They were really respectful otherwise, and no one seemed to have an issue with her and Sarai occasionally being found making out on the couch.

It had been an adjustment at first, mainly for Sarai, but so far, that adjustment had been paying off, and Gabi could see them living there until her lease was up before making alternative plans for the two of them. Of course, if Sarai really wanted to stay longer, they could, but as much as she liked living with all three women, she also wanted to have a place that was theirs alone one day.

The hardware specs were coming along as well, which was one of the many reasons she was so tired. She was working her day job, coming home, and working on the wearable. She also had a girlfriend whom she liked spending time with, and there were only so many hours in the day. The company she worked for was about to launch something of its own, so she’d be working ten-to-twelve-hour days and maybe a little on the weekends, too, so it would get worse before it gets better, but she could handle it as long as she got to come home and fall asleep next to the woman who’d captured her heart so long ago and hadn’t ever let it go.

She let go of Sarai, but she really didn’t want to. She never wanted to let go of her, and she knew she couldn’t and probably even shouldn’t feel that way. They’d only just met, and while they’d had an amazing weekend together, that was all it had been and all it could be because they both had plans for their lives. As much as she wanted to tell Sarai that she liked her and ask if they could maybe talk about that, she knew Sarai didn’t feel the same way about her, and even if she did, it couldn’t go anywhere real, and she’d only want real with Sarai.

“I should…”

She hooked her thumb toward the tracks when she pulled out of the hug that she seemed much more into than Sarai, who probably just wanted to get back to her life without her tagging along.

“Yeah, don’t want to miss it,” Sarai replied.

“We’ll text.”

“Yeah. Let me know–”

“When I’m home. I will,” Gabi interrupted.

“Okay. Well, safe travels. Have a fun trip.”

“Thanks,” she replied, gave Sarai the best smile she could muster, and turned to go.

When she was walking down the stairs, Gabi wanted to turn back. She wanted to know if Sarai was still standing there, watching her. If she was, maybe that meant something, but if she wasn’t, then it definitely did. If Sarai weren’t still standing there, it would mean that she’d been more than ready for Gabi to leave her alone, and if Gabi turned and saw her gone, that would be too much for her to take on the long train home, so she kept looking down at her feet, taking each stair one at a time and hoping, ridiculously hoping that Sarai would yell for her or come after her.

“Stupid,” she muttered to herself.

She made it to the platform and turned to look up then, but she couldn’t see the upper floor from where she was, so she looked straight ahead at the posters along the opposite wall advertising for one thing or another. She wasn’t sure how long she just stood there, but when the train arrived, she had to find her car and get aboard. She had an assigned seat, so she located that, put her bag above her head in the bin, and sat down. A few minutes later, the train began to move, and Gabi stared out the window, trying not to think about Sarai. She couldn’t stop herself, though, and as her tears began to fall, she pulled up the hood on her coat and tried to pretend that she was asleep.

When she got back to Paris, she took a car home, walked inside her parents’ house, and pretended like nothing was wrong. Her mom greeted her, asked her how the trip was, and she told her most of it but left out her new feelings for Sarai. After that, she went up to her room to unpack, but her mind kept taking her back to Amsterdam, so she stopped doing that and began flipping through the pictures that they’d taken together. Then, she pulled up her itinerary for her trip, which she kept on her phone, and tried to find time to get back to Amsterdam or time for Sarai to visit Paris. The week of her Mom’s birthday seemed like a good option for that, but she could cancel something she had planned already to go back there for another visit. Gabi promised herself that if Sarai said yes to either arrangement – her going there or Sarai visiting Paris – she would tell Sarai how she felt, but when Sarai had later declined to do either, devastated, Gabi had gone on the rest of her trip and done her best to put one amazing weekend and the beautiful woman she’d met out of her mind.

She looked over at Sarai, who was sitting behind a desk in her new office. They hadn’t moved in officially yet, but their lease had started already, and today was the day when the furniture they’d bought was being put in place so that they could start working there the following week. Gabi smiled as she looked at her girlfriend through the glass door. Sarai looked right at home there, staring around the space, trying to get to know it and probably figure out how to work in there since she’d never had an office of her own.

“Yes, I want the cubicles over there all taken down and removed. You can leave those in the lobby outside. The landlord will have someone pick them up,” Violet told two of the movers as she pointed to the section of the office where the extra cubicles were.

“And where do you want all those TVs outside?”

“Those will be mounted later, but you can bring them up and line them along this wall,” Violet told one of them and pointed at a wall with nothing currently on it. “Oh. Hey, Gabi. You’re off work today?”

“I called in sick. I wanted to be here for this,” she said. “I hope that’s okay.”

“Of course, it is.” Violet squeezed her shoulder. “Stella’s here, too. She took the day off to help out, but I think she just wanted to see me in my office for the first time.”

“I get that.”

Gabi nodded toward Sarai.

“She looks good in there, huh?” Violet asked.

“That, she does.”

“It’s a big office. She took one of the conference rooms instead. I guess she wanted the extra space, and we don’t need the extra conference room anyway.”

“Maybe she’s used to the garage, which is bigger than the office she would’ve had.”

“Maybe. Or, there might be another reason,” Violet said and turned. “Arlowe, are you ready to walk them through the server room? That’s going to take a while.”