Page 85 of Where Angels Fall

I stand utterly still as my mum turns violent eyes on me, her face contorts in a way I’ve never seen, and she screams in a voice I’ve never heard. “You fucking monster! You killed him, Ash, you killed him! What the fuck is wrong with you, you sick monster?!”

I wanted to scream and beg, and cry. I did this for her. I did this for us!

He was the monster… him! Wasn’t he?

The blood hadn’t even been fully cleaned up by the time Mum swallowed all the pills in the medicine cabinet and decided to follow my father to whatever pit in hell he went to. And those words, those fucking words, have haunted me to this very day.

Monster, Monster, Monster.

I finally feel like those words when my angel’s tear-filled eyes fall shut as I point my gun directly at her face, the rest of the room shrieking and falling to the ground, trying to hide under the tables.

Not her, though.

She just stays facing me, readying herself for the inevitable. The world slows, just like it did that time in my kitchen, when I was just a kid.

Every breath, every movement, every sound. Stopping.

By the time she opens her eyes, I’m gone. And so is the rest of my withering humanity.

Chapter 29

Maddison

I’m waiting for the pain, the explosion, the mayhem.

It doesn’t come.

A part of me knew this was going to happen, that this…whatever this is, would end in smoke and flames. It just burns too hot to be sustainable.

And right now, standing here facing the Devil himself, my eyes closed waiting for my end to come, all I can think, is I don’t want it.

I want more time.

With him.

A warm tear tracks down my cheek as I wait for him to pull the trigger. I deserve it, just from the look in his eyes when I denied knowing him.

Why did I do that?

And for what? For the man who should love me unconditionally, but doesn’t? I’ve known it for as long as I can remember; that my own parents do not love me. They love what I can do for them. But that isn’t love. Not even close.

Love isn’t using your daughter’s body as a bargaining chip, slowly withering away her soul until she fears she might never be able to feel anymore. My father doesn’t deserve that kind of loyalty, and I’ve realised it too late. The man with his finger on the trigger of a gun that’s pointed at me deserves it.

He’s the one who saw all my ugliness and damage and still looked at me as if I were the angel that he claimed me to be. Ash was the one who encouraged me to be unapologetically me, unlike the man who pushed me into a box, padlocked it closed and threw away the key.

The way Ash’s eyes flickered with anguish and his hopeful face dropped, will follow me into the afterlife. The man who runs the cities underworld with a grin, hurt by me. Hurt by my shame and fear.

Like I said, I deserve this.

But I don’t hear the sound of a gunshot. I don’t feel the pain that obviously comes from a bullet. All I hear is whimpering shrieks of fear, people yelling for security. Chaos has ensued, all behind the other side of my eyelids. I can pretty much smell the fear radiating off my coworkers.

But I’m not afraid. I’m sad.

Prying open my damp lashes, I blink towards the doorway…but it’s empty. He’s gone.

A sob has my chest heaving, as my legs move on their own accord, running after the man who brought me back to life.

“Maddison,” my father’s voice booms. I turn, my vision blurring with tears. “Stay right the hell where you are!”