Page 29 of Ghost Ribbon

After the last pill, I shuffled back to my bed and lowered myself down. I curled up tightly on my side, knees drawn to my chest, arms wrapped around myself. My oversized sleep shirt bunched up around my frame.

It would get better, I told myself, repeating the words. It would get better. It always did eventually. The pain would fade. The dizziness would pass. The weight on my chest would lift and I would be able to breathe again. I just had to wait it out.

It would get better.

***

I didn’t like parties. But one of the kids from the scholarship program was throwing a small gathering at their house, and I told myself it might help. I hadn’t been feeling good lately. My health had been getting worse and on top of that, I was rattled. Deeply rattled.

It had been two weeks since Alexei left those marks on my neck, but I could still feel him. I felt wrong. Tainted. Like something inside me had shifted and I couldn’t put it back.

I invited Rei too. Maybe a normal night with my best friend would help.

The party was smaller than I thought. Rei looked effortlessly cool as always. We danced together for a while, nothing serious, just jumping around like idiots to the beat, laughing when I stepped on his foot.

Then a girl approached me.

She was about my height, maybe a few centimeters taller. I didn’t recognize her from any of my classes. “I am Lena,” she said, tilting her head toward the speakers. “You wanna dance? The song is pretty good.”

I felt weird. No girl had ever approached me before. No guy either, really. People usually looked right through me. I glanced at Rei, unsure, my stomach twisting. I didn’t really want to leave him alone, and I wasn’t even sure I wanted to dance with her. But Rei just smiled and gave me a gentle nudge, saying quickly that I should go have fun.

So I did.

Lena was easy to talk to. She laughed a lot, pulling me into the middle of the makeshift dance floor. She took out her phone at one point and insisted on taking pictures. “For the memories!” she said, grinning. One of them involved her leaning in and pressing her lips quickly to the side of my neck, right where the worst of Alexei’s marks had been. A wave of revulsion hit me so hard I almost pulled away. It felt wrong. So wrong. That spot was his.

We danced for a few more songs, banter flowing easily between us.

A little later, after Rei sent me away again once he noticed she seemed to want more time with me, she grabbed my hand and tugged me toward the back door. “It’s too loud in here. Come on, let’s get some air. The backyard is actually nice.”

I hesitated but let her pull me along. It was quieter out here, the music muffled. Lena led me toward a darker corner near the back, still holding my hand.

“Why are you so quiet?” she said, turning to face me with a small smile. “Nervous?”

“A little,” I admitted, rubbing the back of my neck self-consciously.

“You’re sweet,” she said, stepping a little closer.

We talked for a while longer. I managed a few shy jokes back, but then Lena leaned in slowly, her eyes half-lidded, lips aiming for mine. I wanted to stop it. I wanted to step back, to say something, to push her away, but my body locked up completely.

Then a hand shot out from the shadows, grabbing her by the hair and yanking her back so violently she almost screamed.

Alexei stood there like a nightmare come to life. He wasn’t even looking at her. His gaze was locked entirely on me, intense and possessive, while he spoke to her.

“I suggest you move before I snap your neck.”

Lena knew exactly who he was. Everyone did. She tore herself free and bolted back toward the house, stumbling once before disappearing inside without a word.

Alexei’s hand fisted in the collar of my shirt and yanked me forward. I stumbled after him, clutching desperately at his wrist with both hands.

“Let me go!!” I cried, voice cracking. “stop, please—”

He dragged me across the yard toward a black car parked at the back. I dug my heels in, but my frame was nothing against his strength. He shoved me against the hood of the car, pinning me there.

“Be quiet,” he growled, and then he smashed his lips to mine.

He drove his tongue inside immediately, forcing my mouth open wider as he claimed me completely. He sucked on my tongue, bit my lower lip hard enough to sting, then dove back in, fucking my mouth with dirty strokes that left me whimpering into him. One of his hands gripped my jaw, holding me exactly where he wanted while the other pressed hard against my lower back, grinding me against the car.

I couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think. My hands pushed weakly at his chest, but it was useless.