Page 63 of Riding Dirty

FORTY-EIGHT

ELODIE

I’m not sure how we even finished cleaning that last house, but we did it in record time. Everything about it is a complete blur. Alex drives the car straight to the Iron Flame clubhouse. He’s on a mission to find out exactly what the hell is going on.

I can’t think. I can’t see. I’m having a hard time even breathing. This can’t be real. I cannot believe that this is all happening right this second. I suck in a breath, and my eyes slide closed as I try to calm myself down. I feel like I might actually end up having a panic attack.

The dark desert highway doesn’t help matters. It feels like we’re driving straight into the damn abyss. Luckily, it doesn’t take us long to get where we’re going. When we pull up to the little guard shack thing, I look over to the man who is walking up to the car window.

Alex rolls the window down, and I can tell by his tone that he’s just as annoyed as I am, although he’s nicer than I would probably be right now, which is why I let him handle the moment.

Thankfully, the guard doesn’t ask many questions. He must recognize my car. I mean, the gigantic magnet on the side that reads: Dirty Little Secrets Cleaning Service doesn’t hide anything at all. The man flicks his gaze over to me, his eyes taking in my entire body, then back up to meet my eyes before he gives me a smirk.

“I’ll open the gate. Have a good one,” he announces, tapping the top of the car before he turns around and heads back into his little shack.

The gate opens slowly, and Alex shifts the car into Drive before he eases forward. My heart begins to beat a bit more rapidly. Each inch forward makes my breathing come out a bit more ragged than the last. And then we’re in the makeshift parking area. I don’t look around for Coast’s bike, because I have no idea which one would be his. They all look the same to me.

Opening the car door, I shift around, placing my feet flat on the gravel parking area. I start to stand when I feel fingers grip my elbow. Turning my head, I look back at Alex. I can clearly see the worried expression on his face.

He doesn’t speak immediately. His gaze searches mine in silence. I’m about to pull my arm from his grasp when he finally speaks. His words cause my spine to tingle, and I don’t know if it’s in a good way or not.

“Whatever happens here, I want you to know that I appreciate all you’ve done for me over the years. I don’t think I would have survived out here on my own without you. And for what it’s worth, I like Wrath a lot. I want this to work for you.”

“But?” I ask.

He smiles softly, his hand falling from my elbow. “No but. Just, you deserve love, and you deserve to have a man who looks at you the way Wrath looks at you.”

My heart squeezes, but I have to ask the question because I really want to hear the answer. I don’t know why, but I need to hear it. I need to know. So, when I ask him, my voice is barely above a whisper.

“How does he look at me, Alex?”

His lips curve up into a grin, his gaze searches mine for a moment, and then he speaks, and it rocks me all over again. “Elodie,” Alex whispers, “he looks at you like you’re the only woman on earth. Like he’s starving and you’re a steak dinner. Like he could love you.”

Love.

That never truly crossed my mind. I don’t know anything about love. How to love, and certainly not how to be loved. The man can’t even send me a damn text, and Alex is here talking about love.

“You’re crazy,” I murmur under my breath.

He laughs softly. “Yeah, I am. But not so crazy that I’m blind to the fact that this is real with him.”

“He’s not a good guy,” I say. “That fire. That’s not good.”

Alex shrugs a shoulder. “Yeah, well, it’s not like any of us are good. Not really.”

“I think that level of not good is a little higher than, say, someone who doesn’t put the shopping cart back at the grocery store.”

“Beggars can’t be choosers, and he wants you, babe. Don’t ruin what could be.”

My brows snap together as my gaze searches his for a long moment. He doesn’t say anything as he watches me. Then his lips twitch into a smirk. He leaves me hanging as he opens the driver’s door and unfolds from the car. I stay where I am, Alex’s words playing on a loop inside my head.

When I stand from the car, I look around the parking lot, no longer feeling like I’m going to hyperventilate, but still nervous and upset about what happened. Alex’s words have made me feel lighter, though, and I don’t know if they should, because Coast can’t love me. He doesn’t know me. Clearly, I sure as shit don’t know him, either.

Alex walks in front of me. The way he opens the door to the bar and just waltzes in with an air of confidence is something I could only wish to possess. Meanwhile, I slip in behind him, wondering what the hell my eyes are going to be assaulted with when I find the courage to look around.

I’m surprised to see that everyone is at least somewhat clothed. The music is playing low, the murmurings are just as low, and something is vibrating through the room that I don’t quite understand. And then everything goes quiet. I can feel them all looking at me.

“Alex,” I whisper.