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Photo after photo of him, slumped over the steering wheel, at different angles and with varying amounts of gruesomeness. The pepperoni in my stomach revolts.

Me:Please stop sending me snuff photos????

Claudia immediately texts back.

Claudia:Then meet me at the corner.

And she sends me another photo.

I take a deep breath. I’m handling it! I have it under control! Hot messes do not take deep breaths! I go back to the Hannah thread.

Me:Quick Q!

How to phrase this? Casual. Non-needy.

Me:Got any UPGRADE tips on how to say no to a job you don’t want?

Me:If like the hiring manager is beingrealpushy? Oof!

While I wait for an answer, Claudia sends me two identical close-ups of Cran’s bloody nose.Help.

Claudia:Sorry for the repeat

Right, that’s definitely the problem here.

And then, to my relief, Hannah finally responds.

Hannah:OMG a new job! Mo! Congrats!

Wait.

No. I was clearly too casual.Toonot-needy. Faking being normal isso hard.

Me:Hahaha thanks but like what if I REALLY don’t want this job

Hannah:You can totally keep looking for your dream job while you’re pulling in a paycheck at not-dream job! Right now money is the thing, right? Go go go! You got this!!

Something still feels off. Is Hannah faking normal too? She’s not usuallythischeerful.

But then I wonder if she has a point. Would Claudia pay me? I wonder.

My phone pings with a close-up of Cran’s vacant eyes. Jesus.

Nope. There’s no money in this, only suffering.

Hannah:What’s the job??

Oh. Oops. Of course she would ask. She’s a good friend.

Time to pivot.

Me:Tell ya later - oh hey btw guess who flirted with a hot government official yesterday?

Hannah:!!!

Hannah:Nature is healing

Me:Ha ha, yep!